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promises and obligations.

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sgtbull

08-26-2007 22:41:28




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Mike's post reminded me of an incident years ago that left a profound impact in my life. Forgive me if it revolves around a green tractor, but the color is unimportant in this story. We've all been there. Trying to separate the owner from his rusty, worn out old tractor so that we can pull it in our shop and have a few months of therepy restoring it. We'll assure the owner that it will be loved and cared for, and treated with respect. It's memory won't be discarded, and of course, we'll send pictures to the seller or bring it by, or give him a call and have him come see it again when its done. What seems to escape many of us in our excitement of aquisition is that this may be a lot more than just an old tractor to this man or woman. It may have been an integral part of their life, putting food on the table and paying the bank its due shares. Its easy to procrastinate in this obligation, if not forget it entirely. I made just such a promise back in 1997 in my efforts to woo a 1959 JD 630 away from its owner. The tractor was "for sale", but the owner seemed very reluctant to let it go when the actual amount was agreed upon. He finally relented, with the promise that I would call him when the tractor was restored as he wanted to see it. He was only selling it because of his failing health and rising medical bills. (BIG HAIRY CLUE THERE....) Happily, I agreed, and off to my shop it went. 3 months later the tractor was done. A fully restored, orignal looking, completely usable tractor. Ready for me to mow my pasture with, and dote over as being my pride and joy. And the days went by. 6 months had passed from my purchase. It occured to me that when I bought it, the seller had told me to stop by sometime, as he had the original owners manual for the tractor, but wasn't sure where it was right then. Armed with some photos of the tractor, and at a time when it was "convenient" for me to swing by, I did so. I pulled into his drive and went to the door, being met by his wife. Smiling, I asked if "Johnnie" was home, and without taking much of a breath, told her that I would like to show him the pictures of their tractor. Her eyes welled up, and I realized that I was somehow, making a huge mistake. She told me that Johnnie had died about a month before. Cancer had taken its toll. She went on to say how he had talked almost incessently about his old tractor and how it had gotten them through so many years on the farm. He said when he got to feeling better, they were gonna go to my house and take a look at it, and hopefully drive it again. He also intended to drop off the owners manual that he had found. He never did feel better. She asked if she could pay to have some copies of the photos made. Of course, I handed her the photos, and refused any payment. One of the photos showed Johnnie smiling, standing next to his tractor the day I picked it up in the snow, with his hand on the nosecone. She especially liked that one. Feeling very embarrassed and saddened, I apologized for not knowing about her loss, and began the process of saying goodbye, when she asked me to wait just a minute. She went into the house and returned with the owners manual, witout me having even asked for it. She said it had been laying on Johnnie's dresser, ready to be taken to me when he "felt better". Now I REALLY felt low. Driving home, I reflected on how I had "just missed him", so to speak. The opportunity had been there, but I hadn't followed thru like I should have, especially after the "clue" about his failing health. It's bothered me to this day. His house is on my patrol, even though his wife has since passed and someone I don't know lives there now. It serves as a reminder NOT to put things like that off. Just thought I'd share that.

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Goose

08-27-2007 11:20:04




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 Re: promises and obligations. in reply to sgtbull, 08-26-2007 22:41:28  
Sometimes you run into a deal where if you had known at the beginning of the deal what you knew at the end, you wouldn't have touched it in the first place.

About 25 years ago, I was looking for a car for my wife to drive. (I'd sold her other car out from under her, but that's a different story.) Anyway, I saw an ad in the paper for a '76 Monte Carlo with some 40,000 miles on it. I called, got an address, and went to look at it. A twenty-something gal came to the door and showed me the car. It was a sharp, clean car. She commented it had belonged to her brother, and he had died last month. In looking at the car, that kind of slipped by me. They even let me drive the car home and show it to my wife.

The were asking $3,000 for it. I offered them $2400, planning to negotiate. The gal's husband said his father-in-law would have the final say on the price and got him on the phone. I repeated my offer, and the gentleman slowly said, "Well, I guess I may as well take it."

While we were writing up some paperwork the rest of the story came out. The kid who owned the car had committed suicide, he had still owed $3200 on it, the father was living off of Social Security, and was stuck for the difference.

I have no idea if the kid was actually in the car when he self-destructed, and, thankfully, my wife apparently didn't give it a thought.

Like I said, if I'd have known at the start what I knew at the end, I'm not sure I would have gone near it. It was a good car, though, and my wife drove it for two or three years.

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Mike CA

08-27-2007 08:50:00




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 Re: promises and obligations. in reply to sgtbull, 08-26-2007 22:41:28  
A heart wrenching story Bull.



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dhermesc

08-27-2007 06:53:44




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 Re: promises and obligations. in reply to sgtbull, 08-26-2007 22:41:28  
That was a very nice post but my younger brother's experience goes the other way.


He moved to a small town in another part of Kansas after he'd graduated from college and got married. After living and working in the community a couple years a small 80 acre farm with a big old house and big old barns came up for sale. The old couple that owned it had been scraping by for years and the buildings, fencing and house were all in poor condition. The maintenance was just too much for them. All their kids were out of farming and none were interested in the place. The couple decided they'd had enough and wanted to sell out and retire "in town".

The place came on the market and my brother bought it and immediately went to work. A couple times a call went out and the in-laws and out-laws showed up at his place and spent a weekend roofing, painting and in general reversing almost 40 years neglect. He and his wife worked their tales off and in two years the place looked like a post card. Pastures were clean, roofs pulled back in line and shingled, buildings torn down or repaired and the house was as neat as a pin. The old couple showed up one day to look around and see what the old home place looked like. My brother proudly showed them all they work they'd done and how they hoped their children would appreciate growing up on the little spread.

The old couple went home and decided they'd been cheated; the place was way too nice for the price it had been sold for. They called their one son (who had passed on buying it) that stilled lived nearby and wanted to know if there was any legal recourse, he went to a lawyer who told him they didn't have a leg to stand on. So they started a whisper campaign telling anyone that would listen how this young couple had taken advantage of some poor old people. Most people knew better but there are always a few that regard strangers with suspicion and helped spread the word. They still live there but jealousy of the previous owner over their hard work and dedication has actually hurt their reputations.

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georgeky

08-27-2007 10:41:32




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 Re: promises and obligations. in reply to dhermesc, 08-27-2007 06:53:44  
That is a shame. I always figured when two parties agreed on a price and followed through with what is agreed upon, it is a fair deal all the way around. You do run in to all kinds in this world.



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georgeky

08-26-2007 23:12:10




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 Re: promises and obligations. in reply to sgtbull, 08-26-2007 22:41:28  
sgtbull, I recently had a thing kinda like that happen to me. An old neighbor I had known since I was a boy had a few fast hitch implements I had tried to buy from him for years. I would go visit every once in a while, just to visit, but always would ask Charles, you ready to sell me those plows and disk, and he always said no. Said I would have to wait until he was gone and buy them from his daughter. Well one day back in the spring, I ask my wife who was working at the local country store if he had been in lately and she said no. I drove up to his house as I had done many times over the last 30 years and saw his SIL loading scrap iron in a truck. I never gave it a real thought and ask if Charles was around and he said no he died 3 weeks ago. I felt an inch tall as I hadn't even heard about and missed the funeral. I still feel just awful about it. I didn't even ask the daughter about the implements yet. I did mention to the SIL that I was interested in them if they were for sale. Sorry about the story, but yours reminded me of Charles, so I couldn't help myself. I am sure the guy is looking down at that 630 with pride. Thanks for sharing the story.

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GeneMO

08-27-2007 08:23:14




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 Re: promises and obligations. in reply to georgeky, 08-26-2007 23:12:10  
I get into things like this a lot. I do crop insurance work and as you may have noticed, for some reason the farm wife usually outlast the husband. We have alot of policies where it is kept int he mans name for a while and I end up calling to ask for the deceased husband. It always calls for some tact and visiting to work it out. Always makes me feel bad but it cant be helped. Goes with the territory I guess.

Gene

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gary- The Rookie Farmer

08-28-2007 04:51:46




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 Re: promises and obligations. in reply to GeneMO, 08-27-2007 08:23:14  
You don't have to spend too much time feeling guilty for asking for the deceased husband. A quick "I'm sorry i didn't realize he had passed" should do. Afterall it's not like the wives don't think of their spouses every day after they pass.

In a different vein; I get calls for service regularly where the voice is obviously an older woman. I'll say "Ill have the technician call you back, what is your name?". They might respond "George Smith". And I'll ask quizically "When the tech calls back you would rather have him talk to your husband?". And surprisingly sometimes the response from the caller will be "Oh no. George died several years ago, have him ask for Martha".

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