Happy Mothers Day

Heres an e mail I got a while back regarding "The things my Mother taught me"

Things you learn from your mother...
>>
>>1. My mother taught me to appreciate a job well >>done:
>>"If you're going to kill each other, do it >outside.
>>i
>>just finished cleaning."
>>
>>2. My mother taught me religion: "You better pray
>>that will come out of the carpet."
>>
>>3. My mother taught me about time travel: "If you
>>don't straighten up, i'm going to knock you into >the
>>middle of next week!"
>>
>>4. My mother taught me logic: "Because I said so,
>>that's why."
>>
>>5. My mother taught me more logic: "If you fall
>out
>>of
>>that swing and break your neck, you're not going
>to
>>the store with me."
>>
>>6. My mother taught me foresight: "Make sure you >>wear
>>clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
>>
>>7. My mother taught me irony: "Keep crying, and
>>i'll
>>give you something to cry about."
>>
>>8. My mother taught me about the science of
>osmosis:
>>
>>"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
>>
>>9. My mother taught me about contortionism:
>"Will
>>you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
>>
>>10. My mother taught me about stamina: "You'll
>sit
>>there until all that spinach is gone."
>>
>>11. My mother taught! me about weather: "This
>room
>>of
>>yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
>>
>>12. My mother taught me about hypocrisy: "If I
>told
>>you once, i've told you a million times. Don't
>>exaggerate!"
>>
>>13. My mother taught me the circle of life: "I
>>brought you into this world, and I can take you >>out."
>>
>>14. My mother taught me about behavior
>modification:
>>
>>"Stop acting like your father!"
>>
>>15. My mother taught me about envy: "There are
>>millions of less fortunate children in this world
>>who
>>don't have wonderful parents like you do."
>>
>>16. My mother taught me about anticipation: "Just
>>wait until we get home."
>>
>>17. My mother taught me about receiving: "You are
>>going to get it when you get home!"
>>
>>18. My mother taught me medical science: "If you
>>don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to
>>stay
>>that way."
>>
>>19. My mother taught me ESP: "Put your sweater
>on;
>>don't you think I know when you are cold?"
>>
>>20. My mother taught me humor: "When that lawn
>>mower
>>cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
>>
>>21. My mother taught me how to become an adult:
>"If
>>you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow
>>up."
>>
>>22. My mother taught me genetics: "You're just
>like
>>your father."
>>
>>23. My mother taught me about my roots: "Shut
>that
>>door behind you. Do you think you were born in a
>>barn?"
>>
>>24. My mother taught me wisdom: "When you get to
>be
>>my age, you'll understand."
>>
>>25. And the favorite: My mother taught me about
>>justice: "One day you'll have kids, and I hope
>they
>>turn out just like you!"

God Bless all of you.

John T Nordhoff in Indiana