It was my wifes fault, she made me do it. Just want that clear up front.She's the one who said we needed more firewood brought up to the house. So I went and got more from down at the wood pile. The woodpile does happen to be down at the bottom of the hill. So I went down there with the truck, planning to drag it back up the hill with the tractor. I did ultimately succeed, but not quite in the manner I expected. Now it just happens that it was warm yesterday, after weeks of staying below freezing. That meant the dirt and sod on the top inch or two melted and got real soft. The geese helped by making their slippery contributions as well. So I loaded up the truck, hooked up the tractor, and proceeded to spray mud everywhere! I had a great time, but I sure wasn't getting up that hill. If you're carefull, you can do donuts in a tractor with a pickup truck chained to the back! After playing around for a little while (wee!), I figured I really should try to get back up the hill. So I went up and asked my wife to come help me. I figured if the truck was running, I might do a better job. If nothing else, she could at least point the wheels in the right direction. She comes out, looks at the truck way down at the bottom of the hill, mud everywhere, and proceeds to shut the gate and head back into the house. That wasn't what I had in mind, so I'm hollering up at her to leave the gate open and come down. Mean while, I'm flattening the tractor tires in the vain hope that it will increase the traction goose poop and mud have on ice. I tell her what I want her to do, while she gives me those incredulous looks that only women can deliver. Off we go, to give it a try. This isn't working well. She stalls the truck (twice), and isn't lining up in back of the tractor the way I want. I know how to fix this! If she isn't going to put the truck in the proper spot, I will. So I ram the truck with the tractor. She's in the cab busy saying all kinds of things (honey, I love you didn't appear to be the words she was mouthing). This may have been her truck before, but it's mine now (she said so), so I can run into it if I like. I then tell her to please not stall it this time. Oh, if looks could kill! Ouch! We try it again. So now she proceeds to ram me on the tractor! Shoving me up the hill, through the mud. Fascinating! Who knew that a womans ire creates so much traction?! The muddy hill that I couldn't get up in any fashion, she's shoving me up. I'm doing my best to keep the tractor pointed through the gate, while she's basically doing her best to throw me into the barn. I didn't want to stop, because we were moving so darn well. We finally end up at the top of the hill by the house, where I can unload the fire woood she requested I go get (remember, this is all her fault). After listening to a tongue lashing that hit upon my genetics, testosterone poisoning and tattoing the word stupid across my forehead she went inside, leaving me to unload the firewood she wanted. Dumkopf. That's german for "darling" isn't it? :-)
| 
