OT Retirement Speech Needed

No sense having 38 years worth of friends and coworkers show up for just cake and punch. I need a distraction to keep me from crying as I don't do well at these types of things when I am the reason for the event.

Would greatly appreciate a cute little ballad or something of maybe two or three paragraphs, farm related would fit in with my future plans, that I could use to entertain the folks.

Gonna be a diverse audience so if you help me, please keep it on the humorous side and no gouges.

I stuck it in this Forum as I think more diversity exists here and with the diverse and talented folks that frequent this site, I'm sure I will get at least one.

Sure appreciate it up front.

Mark

Wishing you the best in retirement. Keep up the posts.

Thanks,

Mark

Thanks,

Mark

Mark.

Or..."Mah Fellow 'Mericans...whoops!"

Seriously, more or less seriously anyhow, I write for a living but it is stuff that puts most people to sleep. If'n you want something ghostwritten that starts the snoring quick, I'm your guy.

Thanks,

Mark

New Employee: "So , is your job secure?"
Mark Responds: "Oh yes, Its me they can do without!

"Meetings at this place are important - because they are one way that this company can demonstrate how many people they can do without!"

"And meetings at this place is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but all together can decide that nothing can be done!"

Maybe to close your talk:
"Well we all can"t just sit around here doing nothing....the boss will think we are still at work!"

To your fellow workers still there..you can share this wisdom:
"Work is the greatest thing in the world...so don"t forget to save some for tomorrow!"

And finally:
"According to the latest statistics, there are about 50 million people who don"t work....and that doesn"t count the ones employeed here!"

Best of luck, Mark.

Those are KISS as was suggested. Think I'll plug them for sure regardless of what else is coming. Cute.

Be sure and read my post of a few minutes ago on Frances. Looks hopeful.

Thanks,

Mark

"If at first you dont succeed;
Stop, Swear, then Proceed"

Yeah, we are all staring at the computer at Francis. I just talked to a friend of mine on the radio, who is bringing his boat accross the state from the east coast to the west coast where I live.

The interstates are jammed with residents heading away from the East Coast.

The next town to the east of me got nailed bad with Charley a few weeks ago in Port Charlotte, and we could get a ton of unwanted rain and wind with this one.

We will see....

Good luck,

Mark

Reincarnation, by Wallace McRae

What is reincarnation? A cowboy asked his friend.
It starts, his pal replied, when your life has reached its end.
They wash your neck and comb your hair and clean your fingernails,
And put you in a padded box away from life’s travails.

The box and you goes in a hole that’s been dug in the ground.
Reincarnation starts in when you’re planted neath the mound.
Them clods melt down, just like the box, and you who is inside.
And that’s when you're beginning on your transformation ride.

And in a while the grass will grow upon your rendered mound,
Until one day, upon that spot, a lonely little flower is found.
And then a horse may wander by and graze upon that flower
That once was you, and now has become your vegetated bower.

Now, the flower that the horse done eat, along with his other feed,
Makes bone and fat and muscle essential to the steed.
But there’s a part that he can’t use and so it passes through.
And there it lies upon the ground, this thing that once was you.

And if perchance, I should wander by and see this thing on the ground,
I’ll stop awhile and ponder at this object that I’ve found.
I’ll think about Reincarnation and life and death and such,
And come away concludin’, txblu, you ain’t changed all that much.

Reincarnation, by Wallace McRae

What is reincarnation? A cowboy asked his friend.
It starts, his pal replied, when your life has reached its end.
They wash your neck and comb your hair and clean your fingernails,
And put you in a padded box away from life’s travails.

The box and you goes in a hole that’s been dug in the ground.
Reincarnation starts in when you’re planted neath the mound.
Them clods melt down, just like the box, and you who is inside.
And that’s when you're beginning on your transformation ride.

And in a while the grass will grow upon your rendered mound,
Until one day, upon that spot, a lonely little flower is found.
And then a horse may wander by and graze upon that flower
That once was you, and now has become your vegetated bower.

Now, the flower that the horse done eat, along with his other feed,
Makes bone and fat and muscle essential to the steed.
But there’s a part that he can’t use and so it passes through.
And there it lies upon the ground, this thing that once was you.

And if perchance, I should wander by and see this thing on the ground,
I’ll stop awhile and ponder at this object that I’ve found.
I’ll think about Reincarnation and life and death and such,
And come away concludin’, txblu, you ain’t changed all that much.

Thanks, That is definitely to be considered. It's cute.

Mark

Thanks for the well wishes too. I'll still be around the "yt coffee shop" in the am's.

Mark

Remember the saying K.I.S.S. and follow it if at all possible. After the retirement ceremony and during the reception make sure to speak to all that attend if possible on a one to one basis.

Hope you enjoy your time, and have a great plans for enjoyment after your retirement.

later days mate,
Jim

I already know the one on one will be the stressful part.

Hope you enjoy your's too.

Mark

Thanks,

Mark

Mark

"When the long, long day is over, and the Big Boss gives me my pay.
I hope that it won't be hell-fire, as some of the parsons say.
And I hope it won't be heaven, with some of the parsons I've met...
All I want is just quiet...just to rest and forget!...

Master, I've filled my contract, wrought in Thy many lands.
Not by my sins will Thou judge me, but rather by the work of my hands.
Master, I've done Thy bidding, and the when the light is low in the west.
And the long, long shift is over...Master, I've earned it...Rest!"

Good Luck in your retirement.
Neil

Mark

Thanks,

Mark

From hearing them, I can only offer a few suggestions from the audience perspective.

Keep it light, it will be an emotional time, but try not to get too heavy. In that amount of time there were bound to have been conflicts and disappointments along the way, but don't use it as a chance to "get even" with anybody or anything. Leaving with your head high and dignity intact is the sweetest revenge anyway.
If there are humorous memories, tell a few stories of times past. Talk about how footloose and fancy free you will now be, just to make everybody jealous. An old favorite is to talk about how little you made when you first started.

In those years I'm sure you made many friends, so keep in touch after you leave. I know we enjoy a visit now and then from our retirees.

I hope you have a long and happy retirment.

It's such a mind boggling mindset to not have to go to work every day and not starve to death either. I am attempting, to start to, get used to it. I think it will be a successful adjustment. Grin.

The years have been mostly good times. The bad times were few and easily forgetten. Probably the worst part was having to work overtime when the outdoors were beckoning.

Thanks,

Mark

Great for you that you can look back on 38 years! It says something of folks that can stick it out no matter what. Seems to me the more you can hop jobs today, the better it looks on your CV, but I'm still old school: Stick it out and do your job with 100% effort.

Enjoy your retirement, and may it really be the GOLDEN time of your life!

I have always tried to keep work in proper perspective and keep it on the light side, even when it wasn't. Found out about the honey attraction (vs fire) early, so always tried to be nice to my co-worker. Has really paid off as friends certainly do help to get the work done when needed....rather than "that's not my job".

Interesting story. Thanks again.

So what's the tractor of choice down there? I understand Massey sells the most tractors worldwide. Very many in your area?

Mark

Hey, if you run into George Sr. and Barbara, tell 'em I aint forgot them, just too busy to go fishin right now.

Mark, as well.

What happens if I do an extemporaneous speech as you did, is that my mouth flaps faster than my brain can feed it information and I say something that I regret later....when I'm lying in bed afterwards waiting to go to sleep, and mentally going over the event. LOL

Thanks for the reply.

I Catch the Bush pun. 10-4

Mark

Thanks,

Mark

A few days later the doctor saw Percy walking down the street with a gorgeous young lady on his arm.

A couple of days later the doctor spoke to Percy and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?'

Percy replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doctor: Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.'

The doctor said, 'I didn't say that. I said, You got a heart murmur. Be careful.'

The moral is its all about attitude about our life stages - mind over matter. Goodluck & help Mrs. txblu with the dishes, buy a few tractors & peddle them - the guys in the overalls will keep you sharp!. :~) Dee

This will fit in nicely with that tolerance of theirs and it's just enough off color, to get a laugh from guys and gals.

Thanks,

Mark

Mark