Humor ( I thought)

I said "I notice you've been watching that man for some time now. Do you know him?"

"Yes" she replies, "He's my ex-husband, and has been drinking like that since I left him seven years ago."

I said "That's remarkable" , "I wouldn't think
anybody could celebrate that long."

She hasn't spoken to me since....did I say something wrong?

I didn't see the Missus for 2 days, on the third day I could see her a bit out of my right eye.

Make sure have gotten the rolling pins and cast iron skillets out of the house first. Got any guns or knives? Hide them too. She have short fingernails?

Mark

True story..... ..... ..... ..... .
On Tuesday I went to the office of a company that hauls some loads for us. Their are two ladies that work in the office. I was talking to lady A who is a average size woman. Lady B was on the other side of the room but within hearing distance and for a lack of a better word we will say she is very plump.
I told lady A I needed X amount of loads this week to this store. She said great I should have no problem with that as my drivers love to go there and talk to the night cashier. We started talking about how all the drivers are chasing this one cashier. With my mouth in gear before my brain started to work I said "I do not see why because she is a big'o fat girl". Lady A asked what did I say so I repeated it again. Just about that time I felt those eyes on my back. I turned to see lady B looking at me in this I want to kill you but you are the customer look.
I said I was sorry and that I should have never said that but do not know how well that went over.

Nothing compares to the feeling you get when you put your whole leg is in your mouth.