You may be a farmer if...

One of my city friends sent me this. I thought some of you might enjoy it.

You *May* be a Farmer if:

You wear bib overalls to all social events.

Your dog rides in your truck more than your wife.

You convince your wife that an overnight, out-of-state trip for equipment parts is a vacation.

You wear specific hats to farm sales, livestock auctions, customer appreciation suppers, and vacations.

You have ever had to wash off in the backyard with a garden hose before your wife would let you in the house.

You've never thrown away a 5-gallon bucket.

You have used baling wire to attach a license plate.

You have used a chain saw to remodel your house.

You can remember the fertilizer rate, seed population, herbicide rate and yields on a farm you rented 10 years ago, but cannot recall your wife's birthday.

You have fibbed to a mechanic about how often you greased a piece of equipment.

You have used a velvetleaf plant as toilet paper.

You have driven off the road while examining your neighbor's crops.

You have borrowed gravel from the county road to fill potholes in your driveway.

You have buried a dog and cried like a baby.

You have used a tractor front-end loader as scaffolding for roof repairs.

You've used the same knife to make bull calves steers and peel apples.

Your dog rides in your truck more than your wife.
Dog stays home and keeps eye on the place, onliest riding ma does is when I ain't in the walkin mood and she's followin to drop off da combine.

You convince your wife that an overnight, out-of-state trip for equipment parts is a vacation. You have to go outa state for parts and your not using enough bale'n wire.

You wear specific hats to farm sales, livestock auctions, customer appreciation suppers, and vacations.
Specific? t'aint one good enough for ya?

You have ever had to wash off in the backyard with a garden hose before your wife would let you in the house.
You ever hear of a back porch, think ya'll yuppies call them mud rooms?

You've never thrown away a 5-gallon bucket.
Toss 'em out all the time, d@mn cows keep bust'en up.

You have used baling wire to attach a license plate.
Put them up in d'a back winder and you wouldn't have to.

You have used a chain saw to remodel your house.
REMODEL,,, ha, Ha, HA,,, bunch of yuppies....

You can remember the fertilizer rate, seed population, herbicide rate and yields on a farm you rented 10 years ago, but cannot recall your wife's birthday.
Ton-o-crap isn't that hard to remember, niether is below counties low avg. Any woman worth her salt knows to stop feedin ya bout three days before her birfday so ya have time to figure it out.

You have fibbed to a mechanic about how often you greased a piece of equipment.
Why lie to yurself?

You have used a velvetleaf plant as toilet paper.
You need to spray around d'a outhose and get yourself a new catalog.

You have driven off the road while examining your neighbor's crops.
Road? what road. You better not drive off that dirt strip we leave between crops.

You have borrowed gravel from the county road to fill potholes in your driveway.
Borrowed, h#ll, idiot looses his load, doesn't come back for it, it's finders keepers.

You have buried a dog and cried like a baby.
Shut when I haven't seen him for a weak, I just start feeding the next one some yuppie drops off. Cry'n is what ya do in Nov when the corn crest at 28".

You have used a tractor front-end loader as scaffolding for roof repairs.
Repairs, you ever hear of slate, that shut last generations man.

You've used the same knife to make bull calves steers and peel apples.
Apples? naw, ma put those in salad, steers and chewing ta'bacy.

Or when you clean out the inside of that same truck....WITH A LEAF BLOWER.

Guess I don't understand the reference to the roof scaffolding deal. Doesn't everybody do it this way? :>)

Allan

I know that I for one do it that way. I also use flat racks as scaffolding to set my ladders on when I paint.

Until I worked commercial construction in college, I didn't know anybody used schaffolding. :-)

But I do have a role of baling wire in my truck right now :)