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Smart alecking...

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Ol' Rog

12-03-2005 12:47:43

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I am a little slow these days...okay, a LOT slow these days...and just saw a message about my revealing of Woman School, for which reason I am now in a program for writers in hiding. Anyway, I responded somewhere below and said that I am waiting for someone here to comment on the most recent Ageless Iron wherein I apparently passed on a bunch of misinformation I got on this site. No kidding, I thought you guys were honest. There isn't such a thing as muffler bearing lube? Coulda fooled me! No...make that...DID fool me! I just hope you weren't pimping me about metric hammers.

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Jerry Cent. Mi.

12-04-2005 15:44:25

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Re: Smart alecking... in reply to Ol' Rog, 12-03-2005 12:47:43

I had a guy that worked with me that I labeled Arnold Ziffel. It got to a point that he would call on the phone and say Ziffel here until someone told him Ziffel was the pig on Green Acers.

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Mike (WA)

12-04-2005 09:21:55

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Re: Smart alecking... in reply to Ol' Rog, 12-03-2005 12:47:43

When I was in training in a tank outfit at the beautiful Yakima Firing Center and Rattlesnake Rodeo in eastern Washington, our tank threw a track. I was the newbie, so the commander sent me off to the motor pool (10 miles across the desert) to get a BFR. Got there, asked for a BFR, and the motor sergeant said, "I can't believe there isn't a single idiot in your band of idiots that remembers that we don't have BFR's here- they're to be acquired locally. Look in the PAM." So I returned, to find the track back on and the guys taking a break. Told the commander of the motor sergeant's message, he said, "Yeah, we remembered that after you left- so we found one and fixed the track." He pointed to a Big F*&%$# Rock laying nearby.

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Ol' Rog

12-04-2005 12:15:21

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Re: Smart alecking... in reply to Mike (WA), 12-04-2005 09:21:55

My first two days in communications in the Guard was spent going to electronics shop looking for a fallopian tube. The guys in the front would send me back to talk with the ladies in the office. Still didn't have any luck.

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Galen

12-04-2005 06:49:23

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Re: Smart alecking... in reply to Ol' Rog, 12-03-2005 12:47:43

Yeah - all these stories remind me of a time, back in the USMC. I was in a Helicopter Squadron (MHT 301, Tustin CA), working day shift out of the Metal Shop (Airframes). We sent a "newbie" on a search for the "Fallopian Tube". He frantically went from shop to shop (as we yelled at him to hurry) and even across the hanger to other Squadrons, looking everywhere for the elusive device that would save one of his buddies from certian death if he found it in time! His last stop was in our "Flight Equipment" shop where we happened to have a WM (Woman Marine) working. No one knows what she told him, but he was BEET red and madder then a wet hen when he came out!

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Ol' Rog

12-04-2005 12:16:31

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Re: Smart alecking... in reply to Galen, 12-04-2005 06:49:23

Was the newbie's name Roger by any chance?

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Galen

12-04-2005 12:34:20

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Re: Smart alecking... in reply to Ol' Rog, 12-04-2005 12:16:31

Why? Did you have a similar experience? 8^)

I can't remember his name, but I recall he had come to us from the ground (Grunts) side of things! He sure was mad for awhile - until he started to realize how good we got him! A guy who was nicknamed "Chili" got him started.

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12-04-2005 01:37:07

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Re: Smart alecking... in reply to Ol' Rog, 12-03-2005 12:47:43

Old classics- however, some are now known to exist or the terms are used- 'muffler bushing or bearing'- ballfit sprint loaded bolt coupler on front drive cars that allow engines to rock without breaking exhaust -recommended antisieze or grease when installing. VW Beetle thermostat- thermo spring device that controls airflap for shroud/bottom flaps, dune buggiers used to remove these in summer and wonder why the engine didn't run good in cold weather. Metric hammer- 1 or 2kg weighted head, is marked on side with mass as '1kg' or '2kg' (and China), Metric adjustable spanner- has a coarse metric thread screw and small metric thread retainer screw, handle marked with jaw distance range to 32mm. The old jokes are getting tougher to do now:-(. I know, I'm a pun killing spoilsport. RN

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souNdguy

12-03-2005 22:09:41

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Re: Smart alecking... in reply to Ol' Rog, 12-03-2005 12:47:43

Reminds me of the discussion about 'dark suckers' eg.. headlamps.. they suck up the dark leaving light.. when they get full.. they usually have a dark look to them.

Speaking of dark.. I hear it travels faster than light.. after all.. if you walk into a dark room and tunr the light on.. it takes a sec or so before you can see.. but if you are in a lit room and turn the lamp off.. the dark is immediate!

Soundguy

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workhorse

12-03-2005 18:22:58

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Re: Smart alecking... in reply to Ol' Rog, 12-03-2005 12:47:43

Having been in the well drilling business for over thirty years, we finally got the idea to pull the dry holes,cut them in three foot lengths and sell them for post holes. All was going well, until we had a bad windstorm which blew our stockpile of post holes across the road, through a catus patch, filling them with holes and ruining them because they would hold dirt no longer.

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Ron in AR

12-03-2005 17:07:09

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Re: Smart alecking... in reply to Ol' Rog, 12-03-2005 12:47:43

When I was in my early 20s, I worked at a pottery for a short time. The group I was to work with when I started sent me after a left hand pipe wrench to tighten a left hand theaded bolt. So I went looking.... in one of the back store rooms. After several hours the foreman found me and asked me what I was doing. So I told him. He asked if I was really that dumb. I said "Nope, but those guys are working twice as hard keeping up without thier 4th guy on the floor. Maybe they'll think twice next time". He laughed and told me to come on out before the end of the shift and don't do that any more. I went back about an hour before the shift was over. Everyone was pi**ed and wanted to know where I was. I just told them that I had to go all the way over to the next town to order that darned wrench. They didn't mess with me any more after that.

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Jeff Oliver

12-03-2005 21:02:17

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Re: Smart alecking... in reply to Ron in AR, 12-03-2005 17:07:09

We had a guy at the shop one day who was usually more in the way than helping. to solve this we sent him after a File Sharpener. He looked all over the shop and asked everyone if they had one. I think he finally figured it out but we got him out of our hair for a while :)

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Nebraska Cowman

12-03-2005 16:27:25

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Re: Smart alecking... in reply to Ol' Rog, 12-03-2005 12:47:43

Don't know Rog, all the stories here are true....just that some are more true than others and We All know you are the champeen liar. (after you steal our lies) As to women, I ask my friends that have been married 50+ years what is the secret and they always respond "just be quiet"

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Shannon from ohio

12-03-2005 16:09:55

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Re: Smart alecking... in reply to Ol' Rog, 12-03-2005 12:47:43

Don't forget the thermostat and radiator hoses for a 1966 volkswagen bug? Lol.....

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Island A

12-03-2005 16:05:40

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Re: Smart alecking... in reply to Ol' Rog, 12-03-2005 12:47:43

Don't forget to change your headlight fluid at least every 3000 miles, the halogen fluid is best.

You can't cut a board a quarter of an inch longer, we all know that. That is why you should invest in a board stretcher...

Hey Ol' Rog, great books, I read them all and then hid them where my wife'l never find 'em.
=)

Dave

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Ol' Rog

12-04-2005 12:20:03

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Re: Smart alecking... in reply to Island A, 12-03-2005 16:05:40

Best thing to do is do your reading in the outhouse. That takes care of two problems....

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ricedaddy

12-03-2005 15:31:35

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Re: Smart alecking... in reply to Ol' Rog, 12-03-2005 12:47:43

just don't fall for the left handed pipe wrench thing (-:
Ron

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buickanddeere

12-03-2005 14:38:56

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Re: Smart alecking... in reply to Ol' Rog, 12-03-2005 12:47:43

I sent one of the young new guys to stores one day for a "long stand". As soon as he was out the door I called the front counter and told them we were sending them another victim. He kept asking for a "long stand" every now and again at the front counter and wondered when it was going to arrive. They kept telling him for almost an hour that his "long stand" was on its way. Sky hooks, cable stretchers and prop wash are other favorites.

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Jet9N

12-03-2005 18:50:21

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Re: Smart alecking... in reply to buickanddeere, 12-03-2005 14:38:56

B & D, Enco Tool Supply DOES sell "Sky Hooks". Don't ask for one, you just might get one. They are mini-jib cranes that can be attached to a lathe to load work pieces.

Jet

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Scotmac

12-03-2005 14:22:49

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Re: Smart alecking... in reply to Ol' Rog, 12-03-2005 12:47:43

Could'a been worse Rog! When I was a younger lad, I convinced a Scool Teacher I was dating at the time that Tenennesee Ernie and President Ford were brothers....a story in itself!

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RustyFarmall

12-03-2005 13:43:07

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Re: Smart alecking... in reply to Ol' Rog, 12-03-2005 12:47:43

The metric hammer is much more precise than a common cross pean when tightening up the oil seal on the headlights.

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wayne2

12-03-2005 14:51:03

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Re: Smart alecking... in reply to RustyFarmall, 12-03-2005 13:43:07

Someone stole my Hen Way!!!!

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Keith-OR

12-03-2005 16:57:09

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Re: Smart alecking... in reply to wayne2, 12-03-2005 14:51:03

Looked at one yesterday Wayne, didn't buy it cause I think it is to heavy for my trailer...

Keith

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wayne2

12-03-2005 18:07:49

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Re: Smart alecking... in reply to Keith-OR, 12-03-2005 16:57:09

They are at premium, maybe reconsider??? W

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Ken Crisman

12-03-2005 13:40:26

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Re: Smart alecking... in reply to Ol' Rog, 12-03-2005 12:47:43

Its sad when guys that have knowledge can't be honest with the unknowledged especially women . I'm guilty too of kidding around with younger guys when I used to work & teach them the ins & outs of carpentry . Like telling them to take a piece of board that's a 1/4" short & cutting it a 1/4" longer . There's no such thing as a metric hammer lady . Metrics involves measurements . Ken

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Vern

12-03-2005 13:23:21

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Re: Smart alecking... in reply to Ol' Rog, 12-03-2005 12:47:43

Ol'Rog;

I do have a Metric adjustable wrench tho.
Go figure.

Vern

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37 chief

12-03-2005 21:56:28

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Re: Smart alecking... in reply to Vern, 12-03-2005 13:23:21

I have also seen a adjustable metric wrench. Marked in MM. I could never figure that out. Stan

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sammy the RED

12-03-2005 13:17:27

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Re: Smart alecking... in reply to Ol' Rog, 12-03-2005 12:47:43

Always check your muffler bearing and blinker fluid prior to takeing a trip.

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Dave H (MI)

12-03-2005 13:35:35

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Re: Smart alecking... in reply to sammy the RED, 12-03-2005 13:17:27

I hate wise guys! By the by, when you gonna deliver my plow?

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Manuel in Oz

12-03-2005 16:19:53

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Re: Smart alecking... in reply to Dave H (MI), 12-03-2005 13:35:35

When I was an apprentice they sent me out to get a paper stretcher!!!

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12-03-2005 17:06:54

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Re: Smart alecking... in reply to Manuel in Oz, 12-03-2005 16:19:53

Rog; I just put my order in for Santa to bring me "Tinkering To Torquing:A Beginners Guide To Tractors". I just hope you didn,t mention Womens School in it.Some of that was real hard to explain when my wife caught me reading it in the last book. W4

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OIl' Rog

12-04-2005 12:23:27

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Re: Smart alecking... in reply to W4, 12-03-2005 17:06:54

Originally I wanted the publisher to put a banner across the front of my books saying FOR SALE TO WOMEN ONLY WITH WRITTEN PERMISSION OF AN ADULT MALE. I gave up on that when Linda asked, "Where we supposed to find one of those?"

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Stan(PA)

12-03-2005 17:18:06

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Re: Smart alecking... in reply to W4, 12-03-2005 17:06:54

I ordered that book from Amazon, and they guaranteed a "limited edition SIGNED copy." After returning UNSIGNED books twice, they told me that there was some "problem" with this item! Ol` Rog must have sprained his wrist or sumptin!
...Stan (who never did get that signed book)

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Ol' Rog

12-04-2005 12:25:31

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Re: Smart alecking... in reply to Stan(PA), 12-03-2005 17:18:06

It coulda been because they printed the blasted things with my name misspelled on the cover! I am always glad to sign books. When I autograph them, they are instantly worth a buck more than what you paid. If I sign them Ernest Hemingway, they're worth a LOT more.

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steveormary

12-03-2005 17:29:02

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Re: Smart alecking... in reply to Stan(PA), 12-03-2005 17:18:06

And then their is the good old "bucket of steam"

I suppose it was used for scalding chickens but I would poor it over a cold engine to make it start easier.

steveormary

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NC Wayne

12-03-2005 20:48:53

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Re: Smart alecking... in reply to steveormary, 12-03-2005 17:29:02

We used to send guys out for a bucket of steam when I was in the Navy. Only once did we have a guy come back with a bucket of water telling us that he had to go so far to get it that it simply condensed on the way back. The other good ones were the "keys to the sea chest",'get the steam blankest out of the storage locker", the infamous electron analyzer, etc etc.....We sure could have fun with the "newbies"..... ..

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I Like Case

12-03-2005 22:59:16

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Re: Smart alecking... in reply to NC Wayne, 12-03-2005 20:48:53

Trainees and sample bottles. Need I say more?

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