Auctions: The Good, The O.K., and The Ugly

There are three different kinds of auctions:

The Good: These are the ones done by a well-known auctioneer. Around Northern Illinois, those are your guys like Almburg, or maybe Gordon Stade. Almost everything being auctioned off is in good shape. Very little junk. The whole auction runs like a well-oiled machine. Stuff is set up on time, the girls in the registration trailer have their stuff together, and everything runs well. But tons of people show up, it gets kind of crowded, and there are few chances to get any really good deals.

The O.K.: These aren’t really too bad. Auctioneer with less of a well-known name. Some good stuff, but some junk, too. Smaller crowd, but for the good stuff that is for sale, you sometimes can get a good deal. Pretty well-run.

The Ugly: Some auctioneer you’ve never heard of. Unprofessional. Stuff isn’t set-up on time. Almost everything is junk. You get the feeling that someone already went and sold all of the good stuff they had, now they’re holding the auction just to get rid of all the junk. On the upside, these people are horrible at advertising, so you get a pretty small crowd, and you may be able to get some good deals on the few good items there.

I came to this conclusion after going to an auction yesterday. The ad in the paper only ran for two days. So, I figured it would be a small crowd. Lots of tools and garage-type stuff advertised, so I got up early on Saturday and drove out there. Drove about an hour, got there about an hour before auction start time. Auction was in the middle of a grass field. Most of the stuff seemed to come out of two big box trucks. Staff was still setting up. A lot of stuff that probably was nice at one time, but was now junk. Some Craftsman tool chests that were dirty, dented, rusty, and generally beat up. A couple of smaller tool boxes that didn’t close right. The ad had listed “1000’s of tools, Craftsman etc.” I saw more like a couple hundred tools, all scattered around, some craftsman, some not. All pretty greasy and rusty.

Also, a lot of “needs” items. You know, like, garden tractor, needs battery. Lawn mower, needs oil seal. Shop Vac, needs new plug. Truck, needs engine, transmission, rear end, body, chassis, and brakes.

The staff was still setting up the place up until about 15 minutes before the 10:30 start time. As of 10:30, there were a total of 4 registered bidders. That’s it, only 4. The auction staff outnumbered the bidders. Us bidders hung out for a while, chatting about the weather that looked like it was closing in, and the selection of “stuff” that was available. After about a half-hour, the owner and the auctioneer got together and decided to postpone until after Labor Day.

Although I did see a halfway decent toolbox I wanted, I sure wasn’t going to come back out again in a couple weeks to bid on it, so I waited until it started drizzling, and offered the owner 10 bucks. He said 30, and we talked about it for a little while as we both stood out there in the drizzle. We settled on 15, I loaded up and got out of there.

So, I guess the moral of this long story: I’m going to think twice about going to an auction by some auctioneer I’ve never heard of. They end up being poorly-run (or not run at all), they’ve got false advertising, and most importantly, I’ve got enough junk of my own, I don’t need to go buying someone else’s.

I called him to consign some items. Tell you what, he has 'em coming and going. The household stuff is on 17% commission, cars on 12%, tools on 10%, guns on 7% and he whacks the bidders for another 5% on top of the 5.5% sales tax. He said I could forgo the commsion by letting him buy it outright. Hmmm.

Haven't been to that sale for awhile. Not that he misses me. They always have bidding numbers into the 400s

Sometimes the family has picked over everything before calling the auctioneer to sell off the junk. I figure the good auctioneers turn down auctions that aren't worth their time.

Scott