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Tractor Talk Discussion Forum

O/T More Women Woes

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Allan In NE

10-19-2007 08:09:45




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Hey!

We've all got troubles. :>)

Allan

third party image




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Mattias

10-20-2007 02:02:20




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 Re: O/T More Women Woes in reply to Allan In NE, 10-19-2007 08:09:45  
"Thinking before talking, is like wiping your arse before shitting"

I know a guy that always got answers asking a girl if he could have the next dance with her, when turned down he simply answered "Doesn't matter, I was anyway going and have a dump"



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kyplowboy

10-19-2007 18:26:16




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 Re: O/T More Women Woes in reply to Allan In NE, 10-19-2007 08:09:45  
That sounds like the last fight I had witth my ex wife that I have posted on here before. She started out with "some times I think you love those d*** cows more than me"! All I could say was "Well they ARE glad to see me when I get home and they DO TRY to pay thier way round here." Was in the lawyer's office the next day. Just wish I had said it sooner!!!!! !



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Ohio Mike

10-19-2007 17:27:19




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 Re: O/T More Women Woes in reply to Allan In NE, 10-19-2007 08:09:45  
In my area there are a couple of old barns converted into restaurants.A friend of mine who never seems to know when he should'nt speak took his wife out to try one of the barn restaurants. When his wife ask, so what do you think and he responded with this statement. The food is great and the barn restaurant is fantastic, but just because I brought you to a barn does'nt mean you have to eat like a cow. I don't think I can put what her response was on this forum. He is very well known for speaking way before thinking.

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BobinKS

10-19-2007 16:30:53




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 Re: O/T More Women Woes in reply to Allan In NE, 10-19-2007 08:09:45  
I was driving with my wife one day and she began a story I had heard at least once before. I said "That"s why I don"t listen all the time I know your going to repeat yourself sooner or later?" That was one cold ride in the car with no A/C in July in you know what I mean. Amazingly she still puts up with me and the old tractors.



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Tom in NE

10-19-2007 15:27:52




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 Re: O/T More Women Woes in reply to Allan In NE, 10-19-2007 08:09:45  
Reminds me of a joke I heard:

A woman was shopping at her local Safeway where she had selected the following items: A half-gallon of 2% milk, A half carton of eggs, A quart of orange juice, A small head of romaine lettuce, A 2-pound can of coffee, And a 1-pound package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single." The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?" The drunk replied, "'Cause you're ugly."

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Midwest redneck

10-19-2007 13:46:44




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 Re: O/T More Women Woes in reply to Allan In NE, 10-19-2007 08:09:45  
I learned a long time ago that no matter how bad a woman looks she is still pretty, cause you have to say she is even if she aint.



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johndeereman

10-19-2007 12:02:10




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 Re: O/T More Women Woes in reply to Allan In NE, 10-19-2007 08:09:45  
a buddy of mine has a shirt that says keep drinkin till i look good



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135 Fan

10-19-2007 10:29:54




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 Re: O/T More Women Woes in reply to Allan In NE, 10-19-2007 08:09:45  
That reminds me of a poster I saw in the background of an add. It said "Beer... Helping people have s*x since 1865!"



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Lou

10-19-2007 09:49:59




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 Re: O/T More Women Woes in reply to Allan In NE, 10-19-2007 08:09:45  
LMAO



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Aaron Ford

10-19-2007 09:48:28




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 Re: O/T More Women Woes in reply to Allan In NE, 10-19-2007 08:09:45  
My brother walked into a local convenience store where his ex-wife was in line at the register. She called out "Hey $exy, whatcha doing later?" He said "Sorry Lady, you aren't my type." "Why is that", she asked. "You have WAY too many kids." he answered.

PS. The kids were half his....

Aaron



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Lee in Iowa

10-19-2007 09:24:07




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 Re: O/T More Women Woes in reply to Allan In NE, 10-19-2007 08:09:45  
Sounds like a real life story a friend told. He was picking up a guy from the county jail on the way to work and dropping him off after work. The guy"s wife would meet him in the parking lot at work over the noon hour with clean clothes and such. After lunch everybody asked the guy if he got any he"d always say no not enough time. They"d say how long does it take and he"d say a long time you have to be drunk first. Lee

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JML755

10-19-2007 08:40:52




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 Re: O/T More Women Woes in reply to Allan In NE, 10-19-2007 08:09:45  
CJ,

OHHHH, now that's stuck in my head! Next time my wife says to "kiss ....", I'll be biting my lip, trying to keep quiet. Don't want an ex. Took me too long to break this one in.



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cj in wisconsin

10-19-2007 08:35:15




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 Re: O/T More Women Woes in reply to Allan In NE, 10-19-2007 08:09:45  
My ex told me to kiss her butt , I said i didnt have all day!!! may be more than one reason she is an ex.



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Dave from MN

10-19-2007 08:25:09




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 Re: O/T More Women Woes in reply to Allan In NE, 10-19-2007 08:09:45  
I sent that same one to my wife at work a couple weeks ago, different pic but same words. She came home with a case of Hamms, a box of wine, and told me work is sending her to Florida the 1st week of Nov. Same week as deer hunting. Should I be worried??



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georgeky

10-19-2007 09:02:50




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 Re: O/T More Women Woes in reply to Dave from MN, 10-19-2007 08:25:09  
An old friends wife came home telling him about a new job as an airline stewardess, but had to go to Dallas for 3 weeks of training. There was no job, but my buddy got a bill for two round trip airline tickets to Dallas and back. Spent almost 10,000 dollars on credit cards. He filed for divorce and bankruptcy.



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Allan In NE

10-19-2007 08:32:36




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 Re: O/T More Women Woes in reply to Dave from MN, 10-19-2007 08:25:09  
Naw,

I think you'll be okay if you get an early start on the first day of the season. Numbers seem to be up this year. :>)

Allan



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JML755

10-19-2007 08:19:12




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 Re: O/T More Women Woes in reply to Allan In NE, 10-19-2007 08:09:45  
reminds me of the time my wife was getting dressed up to go out and said to herself in front of the mirror: "Look at how fat I'm getting". I couldn't keep my mouth shut. My response was: "I prefer not to". The hairbrush missed, but it made for a long evening out. I've since learned that if you can't say anything good, don't.



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rrlund

10-19-2007 10:46:18




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 Re: O/T More Women Woes in reply to JML755, 10-19-2007 08:19:12  
No dear,that dress doesn't make you look fat. The fat makes you look fat. Reminds me of something that came out of my mouth this past summer so fast I couldn't stop it.We were sitting around the fire after a canoe trip. My sister in law was talking about some pictures. Said she hated those pictures of herself. I said "could be worse,they could show your thighs".She was the only one that wasn't laughing for some reason.

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Don-Wi

10-19-2007 16:48:36




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 Re: O/T More Women Woes in reply to rrlund, 10-19-2007 10:46:18  
I did something like that once... A few years ago when my brother was getting married, we had the bachelor party a few weeks ahead of time. The Girls met up with us at home for a cook out before we went our separate ways again. We left the bus sitting down at the bar and we were debating how to get down there.

I said it before I even knew what I was saying "Well, we could all just jump in the back of my truck like a bunch of Mexicans!!!" I just couldn't stop saying it.

I knew it as soon as I opened my mouth too. I got slapped and a finger for that one- She's 1/2 Mexican.... Now we're getting married this next spring.

Donovan from Wisconsin

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RobMD

10-19-2007 08:12:10




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 Re: O/T More Women Woes in reply to Allan In NE, 10-19-2007 08:09:45  
Too bad I don't drink, or this might apply to me.



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