Shucks, it ain't hard to get 'em to run on water. First, you gotta make a cylinder with a piston in it. You connect this to a crank. Then you hook pipes to the cylinder. The pipes go to something that's been a well-kept secret until now. It's called a boiler, and it's like a BIIIIGGGGG tea-kettle. You light a BIIIIIGGGGG fire under it (a cord of wood would be nice, or maybe a 50-gallon tank full o' fuel oil). You wait about 20 minutes, and then you pull some kind of handle and the water goes through the pipe and pushes on the piston. I forgot to mention that water when boiled becomes kinda like a gas, and it expands. About 18 times, I think, so there's gotta be some way to keep it from blowing up the big tea-kettle and everything within a half mile from here to kingdom-come or maybe the other place. I think this is called a safety valve, and most of the time it works and lets off steam, just like the rest of us. If all this sounds a little heavy and clumsy, that's because it really is heavy and clumsy. Thing is, it was actually tried for a few years back around 1890, and it worked just great until some guy had to come along and spoil all the fun by making a fairly-similar device (the piston and crank stuff) that used a different kind of gas, only instead of blowin' up the tea-kettle from time to time, it just blew off a little inside the cylinder and pushed that piston. Why just the other day, I read about a rig like that. It's made in Italy, costs almost a million-and-a-half almighty dollars, and will spin around up to 8000 times a minute. What will they think of next? Blast them guys, they're only makin' 20 of 'em, and it seems there's fellers out there that buys things like this just to store 'em in a heated garage until the next car show they can tote 'em in their insulated semi. I thought it would be nice to replace my Model A (we're mighty comfortable together, but she's gettin' a little long in the tooth and maybe oughta be put out to rest). Their price is a little high, though. I just might need that mil and a half to renovate my yacht and keep up my vacation houses in the Bahamas.
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Today's Featured Article - The Cletrac General GG and the BF Avery A - A Bit of History - by Mike Ballash. This article is a summary of what I have gathered up from various sources on the Gletrac General GG and the B. F. Avery model A tractors. I am quite sure that most of it is accurate. The General GG was made by the Cleveland Tractor Company (Cletrac) of Cleveland, Ohio. Originally the company was called the Cleveland Motor Plow Company which began in 1912, then the Cleveland Tractor Company (1917) and finally Cletrac.
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