You didn't mention other family members giving you a hard time. So can we assume they're OK with it? I've always explained that the farm makes income which feeds and clothes the family, so farming IS a "family matter". Wife is from a farm family too, so she never says a thing.
I gather it's YOU that is upset and really wants to be "part of the family" today. If that's the case, you have a decision to make.
All things equal, anyone who knows YOU, knows what you're up against. No one will fault you other than maybe yourself...
How far to the BBQ? Could you go for a short while? Even if you can't stay to enjoy the entire day, at least you made it clear to the rest of the family you really DO care.
BTDT, had to miss way too many things in my kids lives. I just keep telling myself the kids were far better off because of the farm.
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