> My brother is talking about willfully giving up the POA and handing it over to me.
Do this. Do this now. SiL has a problem, it will come up again, like any addiction sort of behavior. Get control of things, get both of them totally out of control signed and witnessed, and break any ties from when they had control to when you have control. Move assets to different bank so the old account is totally dead, etc., so there is no way for the addict to chisel a way back in. Seriously, it will happen again.
For the sake of family, you might want to stop with that, let the rest go? Hard to do, I'd be as steamed up as you are, but if mom's wishes are to forgive, so be it. You'll only make the next months/ years much more difficult for everyone, your call on how to deal with that. I understand the anger.
But, do not let things sit, or this _will_ happen again. If they do split, she'll get it all cleaned out before she goes and then you all have a real mess......
Deal with it, visit with laawyer this week yet. Lawyer costs money, but you need things switched over, and you have the leverage of saying to switch now no access, or we do file against you - say so very gentley and quietly, but let it be known the option is there and switching poa & rep of estate is kinda immportant to what happens next.
Another thing to deal with, who will eventually be in charge of an estate - not pleasent to talk about, but on day of death, POA also ends, you don't want things dropping back into a family that is seriously considering divorce, you will be right back to the very same situation with assets locked up and tied to 'her' again. Be sure to investigate that situation. Lawyer is best to unravel both of those issues into a solid situation for you.
Stop the problem now, both POA and Rep of Estate.
Good of you to have worked with family as you have, shines good light on you. Sorry for the extra troubles you are going through, it's generally a tough enough time, and then such things get dropped upon you. Been going through stuff of my own, trust me things get worse after POA ends, you want signatures and witnesses for all these documents. Seriously.
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