I'm getting a lot of pleasure out of your posts, gitrib. Most don't go to a nursing home until there is no other choice, but I'm sensing that you don't absolutely have to be there (especially mentally), but want to be with your wife, and you're getting to the point (physically) that you could use some help, as well. So instead of fighting it, you just said, "Lets do it." Good for you. And your insights into what goes on there, from the standpoint of one entirely in possession of his senses, is refreshing.
My dad had two best friends. Dad and one died in their 80's, but the third continued on. He came into my office at age of 99, to make some changes to his Will. I commented that he didn't appear to have deteriorated any, mentally, and his answer surprised me. He said, "No, I haven't, and that may be more of a curse than a blessing. I think I could cope with my ongoing life better if I didn't know what was going on. I can't do what I need to do, physically, anymore, and every morning my prayer acknowledges that I am ready to go. But it doesn't happen. One day it will, but that's up to the Man upstairs."
He died 3 years later, at 102, and I was happy that he was finally where he wanted to be.
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