I have had two. The first just treated me like another of her kids and I thought of her as another mother. It helped that she was a life long friend of my Mother so we all knew each other for a long time.
My second MIL is in Ohio. I did not get along with her at all at first. I was taking her oldest child 600 miles away to live. She has always been the decision maker in her house. It worked as my FIL was not a leader. A good soldier but no drive or direction. So they worked well as a couple. She did not deal with a SIL that was the one to lead the house hold. The even bigger problem for years was she could not understand how her daughter did not want to run the household. My wife does not want the responsibility that comes with that. We talk over the big stuff but the little things we each handle. My MIL and I have gotten along much better the last ten years or so. She knows that I can and do take good care of her daughter.( My wife has several bad health problems) Plus my MIL is in very poor health herself. She has started to have me take care of things she knows will need to be done when she passes on. None of her kids would be very good at handling those type of things.
I say treat your MIL with respect. Regardless of how she treats you. She will always be your wife's mother. That bond is a strong one in most cases. So just try to take the high road as much as you can. Remember she is looking at the "real" you too. Many of us should not throw rocks in a glass house.
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