16o outside - check (probably from the Texas Panhandle area - either Lubbock or Amarillo)
spiked shoes - check (CFM shoes popular in all metro areas and suburbs in Texas)
shorts - check (Sheer, white "cheekers" are commonly worn below the waist to display the black lace thong)
tank/tube top * check (If no evidence of a titzenhaulter, definitely deep East Texas)
a gut - check (must overlap top of shorts and aid support to bottom of tube top)
enough makeup to make a demolition derby car look new - check (makeup must also be in proportion to compliment either big hair or blond wig regardless of ethnicity)
shot sized bottles of tequila - check (small liquor bottles can be easily hidden inside tube top during a routine traffic stop and look natural if placed properly)
bag of chips with melted nacho cheese all over them and the bag - check (eliminates the distraction and inconvenience of putting down cell phone to remove chip from bag to dip in can of cheese while driving)
Your description sure fits a lot of Texas women, but without visual evidence of a "tramp stamp" or body piercing, she might be from either southwest Arkansas or northwest Louisiana.
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Today's Featured Article - Listening to Your Tractor - by Curtis Von Fange. Years ago there was a TV show about a talking car. Unless you are from another planet, physically or otherwise, I don’t think our internal combustion buddies will talk and tell us their problems. But, on the other hand, there is a secret language that our mechanical companions readily do speak. It is an interesting form of communication that involves all the senses of the listener. In this series we are going to investigate and learn the basic rudimentary skills of understanding this lingo.
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