I'm sure we all made some unwise decisions when we were young. The most important thing is for a person to be held accountable for their actions. I would not help him pay any fines, etc. Sorry post is LONG.
Nearly 16 year old son was sneaking out of house and getting rides into town to see the girl he liked (even though we and her parents had permitted them to spend occassional SUPERVISED time together since they were not permitted to date until licensed drivers)... cops stopped the driver for burned out light at rear plate. Son got in trouble for being out after town curfew. An officer kindly brought him home about 3 am on a school night and son came in and woke me-BOY, was I surprised! I let my husband sleep since he had to work in a couple hours - and we dealt with the situation that evening. Son was blessed that county dealt with it outside the court system as he had never been in trouble before. We held him responsible for every cent involved... had to pay us mileage for transporting him to meetings with county youth worker, had to reimburse me for lost wages if I had to miss work for a meeting as I don't get paid vacation, had to pay mileage for hauing his little tail to required community service work, etc. County youth officer said we were the most awesome parents he had ever dealt with... and that he wished all parents would hold their kids accountable for their actions.
This year, now 17 years old - he damaged the van we let him use as his (dented and scrapped holes in the transmission cover and oil pan, also broke a motor mount and scraped the bottom off the oil filter). Still won't tell us exactly how/where/what happened. Anyway it cost HIM nearly $600 to repair it. And now he only gets to drive it to work and monthly marine POOL functions... the rest of the time he has to rely on his "buddies" to transport him.
We love him more than you can possibly imagine - just not going to put up with any ridiculous crud from him. He recently pulled another stunt, too long to detail here - but it caused us to take control over his money as he was spending gobs of it unwisely and very possibly handing it over to his girlfriend's family. So now we fill his gas tank weekly and give him ten bucks cash and he has to reimburse us. We are just done with the baloney.
Actually, we have half-ways thought it would be nice to send him to work on a ranch in the far reaches of perhaps Montanna for the summer months (he is a great worker and a smart young man)... someplace where there is NO CELL PHONE SIGNAL and no access to internet. Would love to seperate him from this girl who he has felt he is "in love" with since about 6th or 7th grade. She is a liar, a sneak, emotionally needy and a hypochondriac with a mom who is a druggie (lost her RN license for stealing morphine from dying patients in the local nursing home), and he is not smart enought to man-up and say, "No, we should not do that - it is wrong." Though husband and I have talked to all our kids about being responsible, about NOT getting involved with girl/boy friends unti they are old enough to have "lived a little" and become confident people who can take care of themselves and know what they want out of life. KIDS!!! Ugh! You love them - but it is sure seeming like it will be nice when he graduates. Tired of the stress in our home and it is not fair to our 12 year old daughter to have to live with conflict in our home all the time.
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Today's Featured Article - Listening to Your Tractor - by Curtis Von Fange. Years ago there was a TV show about a talking car. Unless you are from another planet, physically or otherwise, I don’t think our internal combustion buddies will talk and tell us their problems. But, on the other hand, there is a secret language that our mechanical companions readily do speak. It is an interesting form of communication that involves all the senses of the listener. In this series we are going to investigate and learn the basic rudimentary skills of understanding this lingo.
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