Re: What to do

Posted by JerryS on April 21, 2012 at 10:47:33 from (68.18.17.227):

In Reply to: What to do posted by Can't win on April 21, 2012 at 02:34:08:

Sometimes you can’t win, Can’t Win. Sometimes the thing’s just done, because over the years you’ve both grown up and become different people (or one has grown up and the other hasn’t.) You’ve received a lot of good advice here today. I can relate about living with someone “difficult” (your wife ever mention a sister you’ve never met?)

I’ll throw in a few more observations:
There are some people who cannot/will not conform to the conventional requirements/expectations of a successful relationship. If a woman (or man) is a narcissist they expect the world to revolve around them, and think that the purpose and function of the people in their lives is to furnish them with the material and emotional comfort they require. High maintenance---lots of praise, flattery, fussing-over and absolutely no criticism or well-meaning suggestion. People like this can kill your soul and you will never make them “happy”.

It is not your job (even if it were possible) to make someone else happy. In a relationship it is your job to create an environment and circumstances, including your actions and attitude, in which a reasonable, rational person has an opportunity to be happy.

Dr. Phil says something like this: “If the price you have to pay to remain in a relationship is to surrender the things that make you who you are, the price is too high.” That can be nit-picked, but you get the point. Some behavior modifications may be in order, but don’t sell your soul.

Once that old original spark is gone for one party or the other (or both) it is very, very difficult to regain. If a third party is involved, it’s virtually impossible. The relationship may continue but its nature will be very different. In your case, from this distance it’s hard to tell whether she’s really looking for a “fix” or if she’s just momentarily short on options.

By all means go to counseling and try to determine where the both of you want to be in a year, five years, twenty years. If it’s in different places, then begin carefully planning your exit strategy. Get a lawyer.

Don’t “give” her anything out of a misplaced sense of love and compassion ; only “give” her whatever she’s due plus whatever it’s worth to get yourself out of your unhappiness.

As others have said, relocate assets---especially tools, guns and other stuff that would have no sentimental or even financial importance to her, but that she would take just because she could.

I hate to sound cynical; there's nothing I like to see more than a man and a woman who are made for each other and don't seem to even have to "work" at the relationship. Cheers, Mr. and Mrs. Gitrib.

Replies:

Add a Reply Name: E-Mail: Subject: Comments: Optional Link URL: Link Title: Optional Image URL: Optional Video Title: Optional Video URL: Advanced Posting Options Email Notification: If you check this box, email will be sent to you whenever someone replies to this message. Your email address must be entered above to receive notification. This notification will be cancelled automatically after 2 weeks.   Advanced Posting Tools   Upload Photo  Select Gallery Photo  Attach Serial # List  Return to Post

TRACTOR PARTS	TRACTOR MANUALS

We sell tractor parts!  We have the parts you need to repair your tractor - the right parts. Our low prices and years of research make us your best choice when you need parts. Shop Online Today. [ About Us ]