1) Strange as a 3 dollar bill 2) Heavier than a dead preacher before Sunday service (the "before sunday service" was reserved for really heavy stuff) 3) Gangly as a newborn colt 4) Not the sharpest tool in the shed 5) If wishes were horses then beggars would ride 6) God willin an the creek don't rise 7) Up chit creek without a paddle 8) for something impossible "thats like tryin to fit a basketball into a ginger ale bottle 9) quicker than two shakes of a lamb's tail 10) Tighter than two coats of paint 11) wouldn't know his a$$ from a hole in the ground 12) Looks like he's been dragged through a knothole backwards 13) A few bricks shy of a full load 14) scarce as hen's teeth 15) for a long wait-This is gonna take a month of Sundays 16) harder than the knots of he11 17) Hotter than the hubs of he77 18) Dumber than a box of bricks 19) That's not worth the powder it would take to blow it up 20) Sweating like a wh*#e in church 21) a stingy person "squeezes a nickel till the buffalo chits" 22) Don't get into a pizzing match with a skunk 23) He hasn't got the brains God gave a duck 24) He's got 10 lbs of stupid in a 5 lb bag 25) bad hair day - looks like they stuck their head in a pencil sharpener 26) purty as a speckled pup in a red wagon 27) fine as frog hair 28) madder than an old wet hen 29) raining fish hooks & hammer handles 30) crooked as a dog's hind leg 31) that smell would knock a buzzard off a gut wagon 32) Too poor to paint an too proud to white wash 33) -don't have a pot to pi$$ in, nor a window to throw it out of 34) Cold enough to freeze the wings off a brass bat 35) a poor shot- couldn't hit the broad side of a barn 36) when asking someone to keep a secret- between you, me, and the fencepost These are a few that Mrs. Kippster and I could come up with
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Today's Featured Article - Old Time Threshing - by Anthony West. A lovely harvest evening late September 1947, I was a school boy, like all school boys I loved harvest time. The golden corn ripens well and early, the stoking, stacking,.... the drawing in with the tractors and trailers and a few buck rakes thrown in, and possibly a heavy horse. It would be a great day for the collies and the terrier dogs, rats and mice would be at the bottom of the stacks so the dogs, would have a busy time hunting and killing, all the corn was gathered and ricked in what we c
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