Pete I had not seen where you had just had knee surgery until after I posted my original post. So that may make the physical issue a mot point but his effecting all of your lives is still the issue.
The physical issue is not a discipline issue it is a dominance or control issue. He has already won that battle. I was not talking about spanking the kid. I was talking about knocking him on his butt, maybe several times. In your situation it is not going to happen so that is off the table for you. Some day some one will teach him that lesson and I hope he learns it well then.
Personally I think high school foot ball is a mistake for many kids. It teaches them that if they are good football player that they can get away with anything. They get a shock later in life when that high school idol/football hero stuff means zero in making a living as an adult.
Your talking about taking a energy bar to the kid before he went to a foot ball game made want to scream. You and the school personnel jumped to his orders. Then you wonder why he is self center and manipulative??? Don't help him be worse than he already is.
I wonder too how where you able to have the time to take him an energy bar anyway??? Is your business that slow?? Maybe you need to change that too. You have several area that are stressing you. Maybe a different way to make your living would help. I know that is easier said than done in this economy but it is something to think about. Maybe a steady pay check without the pressures of running your own business would help make the stress less.
I know you have your wife and one child that have health issues. Taking care of them is a high priority but making a living for them is as well. I would worry about them and making there life better. Let the 14 year old sink or swim at the moment. I really doubt that the kid will be better by Thanksgiving. I would start finding out what my options are now. Then you can be ready to act then. I would not put the other kids through anything over the holidays. Get it done ASAP with the 14 year old. The sooner the better even for him. He is heading down a one way street to failure. It is better to fail at 15-16 than 20-21 or even 30-40.
Your in a real tough place. You just have to do the best you can for your wife and two other kids. Even though the 14 year old is just a kid he is making the decisions that will mess up his life, not you. So he is going to have to live with the results.
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