I sympathize with your situation but don't think the answer lies in this forum. I see a lot of the responses to be pretty harsh and all probably have some grain of truth based on what's worked for others. I can tell you having raised 3 kids to adulthood that what works for one may not work for another. I'm also a firm believer that a parent's role diminishes as the kid's grow up, so by the time they reach their teens, they ain't listening much to you. But I'm sure even that statement can't be applied to all kids.
Best advice I can give you is to make sure you don't alienate him, make sure he knows you love him, but be firm and don't coddle him either. Sounds pretty easy but it's not. "Tough love" is great on paper but its implementation is tricky.
Good luck and unfortunately, I don't think this will be a quick fix situation. I think you've got a tough 4 years (or more) ahead of you.
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