Part of it's parents, part of it's the kids and part of it's our society.
Parents- I grew up in a smaller community, my graduating class was 77 people. My best friend in High School was a year older than me in the class ahead of me. My friend's younger brother was a year younger than me but in my class, he got moved ahead in grade school because he was "gifted". The younger brother- any stereotype of a nerd fits him, he is smart, reads faster than anyone I ever knew and would do his home work while playing the piano, especially if he was playing piano for the chorus, school or community musicals. When the revenge of the nerds movie came out his sister offered to take him to it (he didn't drive) but she informed him he couldn't wear plaid pants with a plaid shirt and the pocket protector had to stay home. He earned a national honor society merit scholar award when we graduated. His ACT score was 33 out of a possible 36 and yes he had very little to no social skills. He goes off to college to study computer science, graduates from college in the same time it took me (5 years), but doesn't do much, moves back home and doesn't do very well in the job market. As time goes by his dad dies and the rest of the kids get married and move out, just him and his mom at home on the farm. Fast forward 35 years, son is still living at home, mom dies he's all alone and hasn't been able hold a job or continue a relationship of any significance. I am still friends with the older brother and after his mother's passing he tells me he feels some responsibility to his younger brother to try to get him help and or insure he's taking care of himself. About a Year after the Mom dies we have our High School Alumni Banquet, every graduate from our school is invited back for dinner. I end up setting at a table with one of my brothers, my friend and his brother. In the 40 years I've known the little brother this was the most normal I've ever known him to be. Seems maybe Mom was playing on some of his social problems to keep her little boy at home for what ever needs she had, and so she wouldn't have to be alone, with her gone he finally had to grow up (at 48 years old).
This post is already too long so I won't preach about the other reasons I feel our kids aren't growing up. I have a nephew that was borderline but after a tour in Iraq he's been worthless. Another Nephew is trying, but not having much luck getting his life together, jobs just aren't available for him that'll cover medication he needs. I think both these boys got kind of screwed up after their parents used them as pawns to get back at each other after their divorce. Their younger half brother- honor student, eagle scout and is studying engineering at Michigan State University, but his Mom & Dad never messed with him to get at the other parent or offered "come live with me and you won't have rules" (and I don't have to pay child support).
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