PaGlenn, I'm so glad you and your son spoke those words to each other.
"I love you..." ...the last words my girlfriend and I said to each other; less than an hour later she passed on in a traffic accident.
A lesson learned in the grief support group: If you were given a math problem to solve and told to go in the corner and come back in - two minutes, two years, two days or two hours; if you didn't work on the problem, you haven't dealt with it and it lingers...time alone is not a 'great healer' as it doesn't solve or heal what you are and will feel.
Let yourself grieve...work at it, cry, share with others. Your grief is just that, YOUR grief. No one else knows how you hurt.
You have already begun the healing process, as you have shared this burden with folks on this board and maybe moved some to express kindness to others. That is taking big and difficult steps when you surely are hurting so much.
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