Best of luck. Sounds like the old folk are good enough to be in charge, but don't trust anyone to take over.
That's a tough place to be. For them, and for you.
Shoulda woulda coulda, you already said you know what you shoulda done, didn't happen 20 years ago, so no point rehashing that.
If you can talk nice with them and see where that leads, is about your only option. First relative that does the best talking right now will be the winner, and that is how that is going to go.
It won't be about being right or being honest, it's about who is the best smooth talker and says what they want to hear. If you don't have the gift for chatting, gonna be a tough one.
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