NCWayne: I replied below but let me try it here. Are the kids not being taken care of???? Are you being financially burdened to where you can't take care of them without child support???
Let me say this again. I HATE DEAD BEAT DADS!!!!
The point I am trying to make is that if you turn the entire family relationship into a monetary one then the kids already have lost something important.
IS your problem with your wife's ex-husband the fact he does not pay what you think he should in support??? If that is the case then your only recourse is to prove that he is making more than he is reporting. That is if you want the full support.
Myself I would not want to waste all my time being bitter about his actions. Make HER kids YOUR kids and forget the issue. QUIT keeping score then you will never feel like you are losing the game. Actually make it a Non game just go on with life.
Does this mean I think you should have him over for a beer??? No. Just quit worrying about what he is paying. Raise the kids like they where your own and forget the score card.
I have supported a lot of kids when their parents did not. I did not worry about what the parents could do or not do. The kids got the same level of care/love as my own kids did. I never had trouble providing for a kid. The basics are not that expensive. You can do a good job without the fancy stuff. Your time will mean more in 20-30 years than the fancy stuff. Kids are not stupid they know who does what. They usually remember that when they are older.
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