My mother is 87 and still lives in her own home, alone, with five dogs. I say that, we have ten acres and her house is situated fifty feet from mine. her dependence on me for support and help has gradually increased over the last few years. My dad died in 1998 after a fatal bout with emphysema. I had to help with him quite a bit in his last years.
Now, my mother is still able to see after herself for now. Her general health is good, she has a terrible back and her arthritis is awful, and her eyesight is slowly going away. But her blood chemistry looks like she is 25 years old. I check on her every morning before going to work and after I get off. We watch the evening news together and after that I'm on my own for a while. My wife is very supportive of this and things are good for now.
I know I will eventually have to look into getting additional help of some kind, but we are a very private family and it's not going to be pretty when that day comes.
I sympathize with those who talk about having to be "the parent". I am doing some of that now. I have tried to be very careful about what I do to help without appearing to take her freedoms away.
I have also experienced taking her to the doctor, and after the visit, asking what he said about this or that, and finding out she didn't mention whatever problem it was because she "didn't want to bother him with that right now..." I thought that was the reason for the visit! The idea of writing a note ahead of time is a good one, and can be done discreetly in most cases.
Hang in there and cherish them while they are here. The memories are good but not the same as having them here to talk to.
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Today's Featured Article - 12-Volt Conversions for 4-Cylinder Ford 2000 & 4000 Tractors - by Tommy Duvall. After two summers of having to park my old 1964 model 4000 gas 4 cyl. on a hill just in case the 6 volt system, for whatever reason, would not crank her, I decided to try the 12 volt conversion. After some research of convert or not, I decided to go ahead, the main reason being that this tractor was a working tractor, not a show tractor (yet). I did keep everything I replaced for the day I do want to restore her to showroom condition.
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