An old joke but sometimes true. Some advice: Emotionally detach yourself from ALL your assets. Convince yourself that it's just "stuff". Be emotionally prepared to give up anything & everything. If you live in a "no-fault" divorce state, she's going to get half, whether it's her "fair share" or not (and it's probably not).
Before my divorce in PA, I had a "free consultation" with a lawyer - basically, he didn't care what the circumstances were, the fact that she was choosing to leave for no good reason, didn't matter - he only wanted to know about the assets. What assets do you have? Bank accounts? Retirement? Etc.
Eventually we settled out of court, only had a lawyer for the paperwork. I wrote up the document, she modified it, and luckily, I kept my stuff, which she didn't want anyway - I did have to re-mortgage the farm and hand her $30,000. Money is all she wanted anyway.
If you can keep it out of court, I think that's the best way. Why give all that money to lawyers? Try to convince her of that. It's really better for both of you. See how much money you can get ahold of to give her, I know 20, 30, 40 thousand sounds like a lot, but when you wave $$$ in front of a person, they are more likely to come to agreement!
Or give her the property, and it can be her problem. Remember, emotional detachment. It's just stuff.
And if you lose everything, you still have your morals, your soul, your heart, your grit and your determination. It is never too late to start over. Take your life in another direction, surround yourself with good people and good experiences.
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