Very sorry for your loss, just really sad news. I had been hoping your dog would get help and recover.
I'm writing this as I sit here on the couch next to my sleeping 11 year old German Shorthaired Pointer that I took home from the shelter 9 years ago. He was sitting in the cage with one good eye looking at me and one eye that didn't work looking at the ceiling. He was shaking like crazy, scared as could be. I had just lost another really old GSP that I took home from the shelter about a year and a half earlier. She was old and had a bad heart, ended up having a heart attack in my lap. Just killed me, sad for days.
Then I saw the one I got and there was no way I could leave him there. I made the right move. He is just a great dog. We have a Beagle and a German Shepherd also and they really add a lot to life in my opinion.
It's not my business, but it sounds to me like a dog or two out there could really hit the jackpot if you picked them up. I hope you change your mind; animals need guys like you.
I'm with you on the "why" questions when I go. My brother died at 32 of cancer and my mom at 47 of asthma.
Hope you feel better as the days go on, and that the good memories get you by.
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