88-1175: You are going to have to look out for your self in this. Trying to protect everyone else has caused your current issue.
I bought my first house over moving into a house my Grand father owned. I did not want any issues to effect my family. That was my wife and kids. The rest of the family became second when I got married. I always put my wife and kids first.
I bought the home farm here. The rest of the family wanted to keep an interest in it. I told them to either buy me out or name a price. Joint ownership does not work.
I have started out all my kids one way or the other. It always included them being on their own in a short time, usually in 3-4 years.
The one's wife was an issue way back. We just created a trust to own what he got helped on. He had a life estate on that property. So his wife could never have gotten her hands on it. They got straight and each put in half an bought the life estate out 4-5 years ago. She put some skin in the game when her Aunt left her some money. Until then I would not sign off on the transfer.
Like I stated earlier. You need to be worrying about your health. The farm will mean very little if you are too sick to do anything. Protect your sanity. Rent some place cheap until you are better. The son is twenty. He is old enough to provide for himself.
As for your Father he is tone deaf on what your ex is/was doing. I would not make him an enemy but I would not look favorably on him. If you read many of my post you see that I rarely mention my Father. He cheated on my mother for over 20 years. I have ZERO respect for him. We talk but that is about it. He lives 1/2 mile from me. I may see him once each week. That is enough. He can and does visit with my kids more but that is different.
So make your life peaceful. If that means moving then so bet it. Your health is the main issue here. Attitude is very important in the fight you are fighting. My wife fought that battle for over 15 years. If she had a negative attitude that would have been much shorter.
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