Still can"t understand why anyone would want to mark the place a loved one was killed under such horrible circumstances....If it was that much of a necessity to mark the place of death, then hospitals, nursing homes, and anywhere else someone died should be under a mountain of monuments by now. That said, I think I would have had no problem tolerating a temporary monument for a short period of time, but 5 years is WAY too long, and that would have never gone over with me. Personally I"ve got enough problems of my own to dea, have suffered enough lost loved ones of my own, that that I don"t need to be reminded of, or bothered with someone elses day in and day out.
Ultimately, in your position, I think I"d have to "play the bad guy" and tell them straight out that they have an extremely misplaced sense of grief, or what ever you want to call it. That being the case I"d be inclined to tell them not only that they can"t build their permanent monument, but that they also need to remove the "temporary" one as well, as it had outlived it"s welcome. Further I"d recommend that they find a good therapist to help them get over their desire to immortalize the place that their son died such a horrible death as it"s simply not a healthy thing for any of them. Basically, he"s dead, he"s gone, mourn him if they must, but life goes on, and it"s time for them to move on with it.
But do it all in the nicest, most respectful way possible............
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