I don't believe a permanent marker would be allowed here within a certain distance of center line of road, on state and or town roads, both have criteria that would negate this. Not sure about the county roads, likely the same. On town roads, mailbox posts, (per U.S. Post Office specifications) directly conflicts with town specifications in their code, which states you are not supposed to have the post that close to the road. I'd have to read it again, but I think one would have to have some cantilevered arrangement to comply, no one enforces it anyway, and I believe its mostly for snow removal.
A good friend's dad, (who was also a long time good friend) decided for some reason, (we still suspect medication was part of it) decided one saturday morning in late '09 to go out behind part of one barn, in front of where the tractor is parked in the attached barn behind it and check out with a 16 ga shotgun. For whatever reason, a small patio stone or paver was placed where his feet were. We go by there often, try not to drive over it with the tractor, and or because its a hidden spot, please don't relieve yourself on it LOL ! He probably did hundreds of times right there anyway LOL ! I find myself clearing dirt and sod away from that marker, it was almost covered up this year.
I am still unsure what the significance of it is, other than it marks the exact spot where he passed away and that it meant something to remember that. No you would not erect a headstone there, that is for burial, and it would block his tractor from the barn, but we center the marker under the tractor while driving it in/out every time we park the tractor in there, you always think of him when you get on or off the tractor. it does not seem like a bad thing, its informal, low profile but you know its there. Maybe a small marker kind of paver, inscribed would be ok, takes 20 seconds with a string trimmer to keep it cleared off, If were me, I'd be ok with that, would maintain it as said above, being no trouble or heavy maintenance, but would be quite frank to the parents, stating that it this is ok, but its still non permanent, and its clearly my right to remove it at any time, additionally stating that nothing else is to be added to it ever. I can also understand flat out no, I don't want any of it on my land, and that I do not want to set a precedent here or elsewhere. Purely up to you, the locations rules, codes and so on as related to the road or building code.
Its perplexing as I don't think many of us would not want to honor any decent person when deceased, just don't force that upon someone.
We often go to the nearby cemetery for a toast at the headstone, or are asked to after a family dinner, in remembrance of the fellow I spoke of above, some of the family find it excess, as apparently do the grand kids, who's father says it kind of freaks them out a little, so everyone has a different take or way of dealing with this, its nice to be sensitive to that, but again, don't force it upon me or anyone else, respect the wishes of others, which these people should do in your case, regardless of what you decide.
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