I would never use someone else's equipment without contacting them and asking for permission. I have been around too many junkers in my day that all have quirks and I as a user need to understand them.
As you said, you only gave him permission to look at the hay to see if he wanted it - nothing else. Even if he had his own way of loading it, he should also have contacted you right then to let you know he was taking 3 bales. At that point he would could have asked you if he could use your tractor to load them.
What I would do: If you know for a fact that he used your tractor to load the hay then once I got payment from this fellow then I would never do business with him again under any circumstances - I would let the hay rot away to nothing first. Hiding the key on most of those old tractors does little. I frequently used the pointed end of a pair of finger nail clippers to turn the switch on our tractors back in the day as most we had back then we did not even have the proper key for.
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Today's Featured Article - Talk of the Town: What's The "Stuckest" You've Ever Been? - by Edited by Kim Pratt. Another great discussion from the Tractor Talk Discussion Forum. The discussion started out with the following post: "I was about 14 (part of the problem) when I got stuck. I was disking with a cab equipped IH 966. The window was dirty and I was driving into the evening sun. It was hard to see and it was my first pass down the field. I got the tractor so stuck that the underside of the tractor was resting on the ground. My uncle wanted
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