Your question "Does a lawyer get involved and get most of it?" is what can happen if you do NOT have a will.
I"ve been thru several instances of deaths in my family and if you want to see mud slinging among relatives...and lifetime hatreds...then just do no planning at all.
I am not a lawyer nor related to one. And there might be some shouters and screamers here that will want to argue, but living and dying is not simple anymore.
Yes, lawyers will charge you a high fee, but ask the lawyer up front what they charge and what can they do for you. But then you have the satisfaction of setting up details properly and as you want them to be.
This reminds me of "If you want high quality oats you must be prepared to pay the price for high quality oats. However, if you can be satisfied with oats that have first been thru a horse, those oats do come at a much lower price".
Come now, do you ask a lawyer to fix your tractors? If not, then why ask tractor experts (and many here are experts) about estates?
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