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Re: OT:Does your son like ANYTHING you do? long rant


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Posted by James22 on January 31, 2014 at 21:42:48 from (207.179.239.198):

In Reply to: OT:Does your son like ANYTHING you do? long rant posted by redtom on January 31, 2014 at 16:24:41:

I have a son that is now 26 years old. I tried to get him interested quite a few activities but he no real interest in outside activities particularily those envolving physical labor. Far from a "chip off the old block". When ever he was asked to do a task, he would first question whether it needed to be done at all. He always lost this battle which led to the next two issues which were: task completion date/time, and whom was to decide it was done satisfactorily. He believed since it was his assignment, he should decide these issues. Certainly at 6 ft 3 and 250 lbs he was certainly hefty enough to pull his own weight, but would much rather mess around with computers and computer games. He didn't get into drugs or other trouble, and I could trust him not to steal, so eventually stopped complaining and let him do "his thing". He didn't study, did take tough courses but graduated with a mediocre grade point average. Bounced around a couple of low wage jobs and completed a two year degree at the local junior college with slighly above a C average. Life gave him a rude awaking when the girl friend become pregnant and he had to buckle down to provide a living. Now with three small children and having trouble finding anything more than a minimum wage job, he has learned a few tough life lessons; one being that it was one of his better ideas not to burn family ties. He realizes many mistakes were made, and is now willing to make the considerable effort required to earn a marketable college degree The moral of this somewhat long-winded story is that although you should give guidance/encouragement, better let them do the actual driving and eschew constant conflict unless they are going to run off a cliff. If they succeed doing their "own thing", that is great. If things don't go so well they will listen a lot better if you haven't beaten the relationship to a pulp.


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