JD I think its great that you stay home. Maybe you can get some of the other old pharts to stay away also.
Seems most of these old geezers just crowd the flatbed junk wagons so nobody else can see but they never buy anything. Or if they do buy, they tend to buy everything and want to start their own "pile" on the trailer creating confusion for everybody rather than haul the items off a ways out of sight of those who just walked up and think the stuff hasn't sold yet.
Same with the machinery, they just stand up front and center in the way and they don't even farm anymore or have any use for a 3 year old combine or a 16 row planter but there they are, sitting on the hitch while the item is being auctioned or stand in front of the auctioneers helper who's trying to find bidders in the crowd.
Another thing they like to do is when an auctioneer has a mobile lunch wagon or the church ladies provide a lunch, often they will provide a few picnic tables so people can sit to eat. The old pharts that aren't standing in front of the auctioneer usually plant their butts at the tables for hours at a time for the purpose of visiting and killing time with no regard for those standing around trying to hang onto their paper plates and coffee while they eat standing up.
Another annoyance is the old phart who can't walk so he thinks its acceptable to use his 3/4 ton pickup as a rascal scooter so he can follow the auction in his pickup and watch from the comfort of his cab while 100s of people including little kids have to negotiate around his vehicle while the half blind phart moves his pickup in the crowd every few minutes. This guy usually drives a Dodge with a Cummins diesel so hes real stealthy about it. Not!
Next is the old phart who is retired and has nothing to do, no place to go and all day to get there but has to drive his pickup onto the yard right behind the auctioneer because hes in a hurry and just HAS to load his prize he just bought RIGHT NOW! Which is usually just an excuse to get other able bodied men to load his cr-p for him before the sale is over and everyone leaves. The men will do this, not so much out of kindness but to get him off the yard while the sale is going on, mostly because nobody can hear the auctioneer because this old phart is usually driving an old piece of ---- with no muffler.
Now if the old coot actually does park his pickup on the township road and walks into the yard like everyone else, then hes usually the one guy who parks "close" by parking right on the corner so nobody can make the driveway with a gooseneck trailer. Everybody else knows better than to park there but the old phart thinks everybody just happened to reserve that spot just for him.
I can't wait until I'm old enough to loose all sensibilities and develop a selfishness that ranks right up there with the no good "younger" generation everyone complains about who have no respect for their elders. This started out as tongue-in-cheek kind of thing but turned into a rant. Nothing personal JD. Unless your one of those old pharts! LOL
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