Littlefarmer: I was married for a total of 48 years, but it seemed longer. I'm now nearly 74 and living alone. I am more at peace now than at any time in my life. I am quite content with my own company. There is a difference between being lonely and being alone. I don't know what lonely feels like. I do have a ladyfriend my age, a widow whose company I enjoy very much (and not for what you're thinking) and whose personality is very compatible and complementary to mine. Neither of us wants to get married; she has a nice home and is financially secure; I have a nice home and am financially secure. Her assets are for her kids; my assets are for my kids.
You have obviously adapted to being alone, so, I am curious as to why you now at age 60 feel the need to explore the possibilities of matrimony. Do you want a child, or children? Well, sorry, but it's too late for that---you just don't have enough good time left to offer a child. Sure, I know it's been done--a lot--but the odds just aren't good. Also, having a child means having a wife of child-bearing age. Is a girl in her 20s or 30s going to be interested in you? Maybe, but...? Is a woman in her 40s going to be willing to do the risky pregnancy thing for a 60-something man? In any event, you'd be marrying a much younger woman and I speak authoritatively when I say that's not what you want. At 60 you're probably fit, robust and vigorous. The gray at your temples probably makes you look like Clark Gable. In a very few short years those gray hairs are going to joined by wild hairs growing from your ears and eyebrows; by sagging jowls and skin that develops an amazing array of lines, wrinkles and spots. She begins to see you as a doddering old man with a funny smell who can no longer cut the mustard. She realizes she no longer likes mustard. Love and lust turn to pity, then revulsion. At best you become her elderly father, consigned to her care.
So, further examining your awakening matrimonial leanings, is it your motivation to find someone who provides ready access for the satisfaction of your "urges"? I really don't think so; you've apparently managed to deal with your "urges" for lo these many years No need to buy the cow now, as they say.
Are you belatedly taking into consideration societal expectations? The ones that say every good man should be married? Here again, you've almost outlived that expectation.
You hint that you might be looking for someone to care for you in your dotage, and to be near should you fall. There's nothing wrong with having someone near to monitor your well-being, but I don't think that would be a sufficient basis for marriage.
I could go on, but the point is, look within yourself and carefully answer all the questions about why you are considering marriage after all this time. If you find that perfect woman (notice I did not say "person") who fulfills you, completes you, and whose absence makes you miserable, by all means go for it. We should all meet that kind of soul-mate.
But before you step into actual marriage, I have one more word for you: PRE-NUP.
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Today's Featured Article - Listening to Your Tractor - by Curtis Von Fange. Years ago there was a TV show about a talking car. Unless you are from another planet, physically or otherwise, I don’t think our internal combustion buddies will talk and tell us their problems. But, on the other hand, there is a secret language that our mechanical companions readily do speak. It is an interesting form of communication that involves all the senses of the listener. In this series we are going to investigate and learn the basic rudimentary skills of understanding this lingo.
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