As far as Thanksgiving, invite them over for lunch/dinner, and let them take home any leftovers. This will solve the problem of a meal or two, and not seem like your directly helping like you do when "taking" them food.
As far as Christmas, I feel sorry for the kids too, and maybe I'm being cold hearted here, but it's better for them to learn at an early age that life can be tough, than to become spoiled brats later. In other words, not getting a lot, or any toys because the family needs to work together to get through some tough times will be a good lesson. If their old enough to really worry about getting gifts, then they are old enough to get the lesson.
As for the situation as a whole, only they can help themselves out of it, in any meaningful way. If they are trying, then I see no harm in the occasional band aid. If they can't see what needs to be done, and make progress toward it, then it's not your problem.
Again, maybe I'm hard hearted, but I've tried too many times to help people, only to get screwed over in the end. I've come to the conclusion that I'll help people with THEIR problems, but the second it appears it's going to become MY problem, I'm done....
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Today's Featured Article - Oil Bath Air Filters - by Chris Pratt. Some of us grew up thinking that an air filter was a paper thing that allowed air to pass while trapping dirt particles of a particles of a certain size. What a surprise to open up your first old tractor's air filter case and find a can that appears to be filled with the scrap metal swept from around a machine shop metal lathe. To top that off, you have a cup with oil in it ("why would you want to lubricate your carburetor?"). On closer examination (and some reading in a AC D-14 service manual), I found out that this is a pretty ingenious method of cleaning the air in the tractor's intake tract.
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