Posted by mike henry on December 15, 2015 at 13:50:19 from (104.9.177.120):
'Twas the night before Christmas And all 'cross the farm Everybody was inside Just tryin' to stay warm. The tractors were locked up All snug in the shed, With their long stroker cranks And their high-compression heads.
The wife in the kitchen Turned and said with a laugh, "You smell like #2 diesel- You better get you a bath!"
Then she grabbed my Farmall cap Right offa my head, And went up the stairs And headed to bed.
Now, I hafta admit it, I DID smell kinda lousy; So I got in the tub, And I got kinda drowsy.
Well I must've dozed off In the bathtub that night; But I awoke in an instant To a sound that caused fright.
I sprang from the bathtub And grabbed me a towel; What I saw out the window, Well, it caused me to howl!
On the roof of the barn I spied a miniature sleigh, And instead of a reindeer Stood a green John Deere A!
That's all I could see Through the noise and the smoke; It was so dadgum thick, Well I thought I would choke!
"On Ollie! On, Massey! On, Minnie! On, Case! On, Farmall and Fergie! Deere, don't fall on your face!"
Then the sleigh left the barn roof And strained to get higher, Until Santa pulled the lever For the Torque Amplifier.
The engines by then Had brought the wife out of bed, As Santa re-landed His sleigh on the shed.
He picked up his bag Filled with marvelous things, Like camshafts and rockers And governor springs;
Then, going inside, Santa moved my old wrenches And left me some goodies Atop my workbenches.
Then he sprang back to his sleigh And as he yanked on the throttle, He opened the valve On a large nitrous bottle!
As he motored away, I heard him say--no bull!-- "Merry Christmas, you pullers, And to all, a FULL PULL!!!
[And to all of the bad boys-- Though I heard there weren't many-- Instead of a lump of coal, He left THEM stuff from Denny's!] HAVE A MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE
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