How you are feeling right now will happen, more than once, and I think its a normal reaction to your situation, given the lifestyle you have lived for so long.
I sat with a long time great friend and farmer for several hours, think it was about 5 years ago. He was dealing with internal problems that we both knew would the end of him. He felt the same way, but amazingly, just said thanks for coming by and help me pass the time.We talked about the great new tandem sileage truck he bought and other things he had recently accomplished, he said the same thing, never got to drive it or use it etc. One side of him was certainly depressed, but the resilient side of him is what always stood out stronger and did so until the very end. His brother saw me outside last saturday and stopped in to talk awhile, when we spoke of his brother, it was difficult not to feel sadness, and when he left afterward, it was worse for me. That was not all we talked about, but its hard to believe still and I look out onto the land and think of him often. All things in life, unpleasantry's (sp) included must be reckoned with. I think you are doing as best as a person can do under these circumstances and wish you a speedy recovery!
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Today's Featured Article - Hydraulics - Cylinder Anatomy - by Curtis von Fange. Let’s make one more addition to our series on hydraulics. I’ve noticed a few questions in the comment section that could pertain to hydraulic cylinders so I thought we could take a short look at this real workhorse of the circuit. Cylinders are the reason for the hydraulic circuit. They take the fluid power delivered from the pump and magically change it into mechanical power. There are many types of cylinders that one might run across on a farm scenario. Each one could take a chapter in
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