How you are feeling right now will happen, more than once, and I think its a normal reaction to your situation, given the lifestyle you have lived for so long.
I sat with a long time great friend and farmer for several hours, think it was about 5 years ago. He was dealing with internal problems that we both knew would the end of him. He felt the same way, but amazingly, just said thanks for coming by and help me pass the time.We talked about the great new tandem sileage truck he bought and other things he had recently accomplished, he said the same thing, never got to drive it or use it etc. One side of him was certainly depressed, but the resilient side of him is what always stood out stronger and did so until the very end. His brother saw me outside last saturday and stopped in to talk awhile, when we spoke of his brother, it was difficult not to feel sadness, and when he left afterward, it was worse for me. That was not all we talked about, but its hard to believe still and I look out onto the land and think of him often. All things in life, unpleasantry's (sp) included must be reckoned with. I think you are doing as best as a person can do under these circumstances and wish you a speedy recovery!
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Today's Featured Article - Third Brush Generators - by Chris Pratt. While I love straightening sheet metal, cleaning, and painting old tractors, I use every excuse to avoid working on the on the electrics. I find the whole process sheer mystery. I have picked up and attempted to read every auto and farm electrics book with no improvement in the situation. They all seem to start with a chapter entitled "Theory of Electricity". After a few paragraphs I usually close the book and go back to banging out dents. A good friend and I were recently discussing our tractor electrical systems when he stated "I figure it all comes back to applying Ohms Law". At this point
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