Re: Essex Tri-Directional

Posted by HTR on January 04, 2002 at 22:26:53 from (64.45.141.75):

In Reply to: Essex Tri-Directional posted by Poppin' Johnny on January 04, 2002 at 07:05:08:

Now, I have never seen one of these Essex TD tractors first hand myself, but my daddy relayed this story and description of the tractor to me. He had a neighbor who's brothers father-in-laws cousins grandfather had actually helped Mr Essex in developing these tractors.

His description was quite different from what I have read here. He was told that the Tri-D was a large triangle configuration with a large drive wheel at each point of the triangle, and all three wheels steered. Each wheel had an independent, upside down, inverse, gravational device that self actuated, if it started to lose traction. This sort of meant that the wheels could not be stopped by adverse conditions.

The engine was of the super conducting, cold fusion, flywheel type, which made it have limitless horse power. The engine was mounted is the center of the frame and was fueled with silicon ( sand). The exhaust was directed streight down to the ground for pollution purposes.

The tractor frame and drive components were an alloy of tungsten, molybdenum, titanium, and kryptonite renforced with carbon fiber. With the addition of the krytonite, this meant none of the components could be broken or pulled apart.

After speculation on the great advanced technicalogy, the aforesaid neighober, brothers, cousins, whatever, told Mr Essex This thing really should have an anti swoorp option added. This was vetoed by Mr Essex,he said he didn't think it needed an an anti swoorp device as nothing short of a super nova, black hole, of space warp could affect the tractor so that it would need an anti swoorp device, and besides it would add $12.30 to the cost, and we want to keep the initial cost down.

Well, field testing and Murphys law. As the tractor was on one of its demostrations, there was some sort of miscommunication between the micro processor and a transducer and some control valves, anyhow, all three drive wheels started pulling in different directions with Mr Essex at the controls.

The engeneers watching started to panic, and was heard saying this ain't good, total traction, limitless horse power, and the kryptonite components. One said this remindes me of the expanding universe theory, another said this is like the old question an unstopable force meeting an immovable object, the neighbors brothers cousins, whatever, said I told you we should have installed the anti swoorp device, but the tractor just continued to stretch and stretch.

A ray of hope, there had been a tow tractor parked in the field with a 3-53 Detroit Diesel for five minutes or so and had driped about a half of a quart of oil. The EPA hadn't found this oil spill and hadn't fined them $10,000 and hadn't made them dig up 400 cubic yards of soil yet. So when one of the drive wheeels hit the oil spill it didn't really lose traction, but tractor made a jump and dislodged the inverse gravitational device in that wheel. The wheel turned side ways and started the tractor in a reverse imploding anti gravational spin, that is the oppsite of centrifugal force, all the while the stretched frame was contracting as it hadn't reached the yeild point. Mr Essex was thrown streight up high in the air, and was also rotating at a rapid speed. As the reverse imploding circle go smaller and smaller an faster and faster, near the apex of the circle at a tremendous speed.

ALL of a sudden SSWWOOORRPPP the tractor disappeared up its own exhaust pipe and was gone forever. I think this is the real story to the demise of the Essex-Tri D.

I will not speculate on the fate of Mr Essex, as he was never seen again either.

Follow Ups:

• Re: Re: Essex Tri-Directional Stan in AL 08:37:05 01/05/02 (1)
  • Re: Re: Re: Essex Tri-Directional Mike (WA) 16:36:51 01/05/02 (0)
• Re: Re: Essex Tri-Directional HTR 23:40:34 01/04/02 (0)

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