Posted by Janicholson on September 27, 2023 at 11:00:31 from (24.240.46.228):
In Reply to: Widowed posted by DeltaRed on September 27, 2023 at 07:21:30:
In the recent past she was standing sitting and moving in your house. Her presence, not her condition, was a continuation of your lives. As her condition became complex and difficult for her (as well as you) the choice was made to seek a better solution for her. That was clearly a best solution as you have indicated she is of good cheer. The choice also provided you with stress reduction and freedom that was welcome. But tied with that is the feeling of loss of companionship and the bond with her. Included is the feeling you might have of responsibility for the fact of her being where she is. My opinion is that she is on vacation. She is not stressed, she is not being ignored, she is confronted with respect and dignity both from the staff and you on your visits. This vacation is a favorable solution in that she is doing well within the circumstances. So are you!! the hardship of missing her as she was 5 years ago is real, but will dissolve as time goes by. The visitations will still be there, but the feeling of loss will diminish. It is true no human can avoid the loss of people close to them. your loss is just slowly happening over time. That makes the complexity stick out and provide continuing grief. You made a decision that is and will be the primarily best for her and your secondarily good for yourself. Take the time to ponder the wellness she feels as a blessing. She would not have you be in discomfort. Jim
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