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Posted by ShepFL on December 01, 2004 at 05:14:48 from (155.14.118.69):
Found this in my email, laughed so hard I had tears in my eyes. Sharing the humor :) Is Hell exothermic or endothermic? The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well. Bonus Question: Is He11 exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle"s Law (Gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following: First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into He11 and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering He11, let"s look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to He11. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to He11. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in He11 because Boyle"s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in He11 to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities: 1. If He11 is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter He11, then the temperature and pressure in He11 will increase until all He11 breaks loose. 2. If He11 is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in He11, then the temperature and pressure will drop until He11 freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in He11 before I sleep with you, and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that He11 is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since He11 has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct… leaving only Heaven… thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God." This student received the only ‘A’.
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