Re: O/T Kind of a sad Thanksgiving weekend

Posted by john d on November 27, 2005 at 12:14:57 from (69.212.185.170):

In Reply to: O/T Kind of a sad Thanksgiving weekend posted by john in la on November 27, 2005 at 07:06:29:

One of life's transitions....never easy.

My grandparents bought the house and farm where I live in 1914. When grandpa quit farming it, they moved to a house on the north side of the farm. My parents moved onto the place and started farming it in '39. We moved to what had been my grandparent's house on the north side of the farm in '70. I was fortunate to grow up less than 1/4 mile from my grandparents, and my children then had the same opportunity. In '74, my wife convinced my folks to build a house at the south edge of the farm in a wooded area. They'd talked about it for 20 years or more. We bought the old farmhouse, and moved BOTH households of stuff on one very long Thanksgiving day! My kids were still within 1/4 mile of their grandparents.
In '97, I talked Dad into selling me the barns and surrounding grass to me. They separated the two houses, and were full of "stuff" that he'd "accumulated" in all that time. Growing up in the Great Depression, he was loathe to throw anything away that he MIGHT need someday... Dad said "You want to BUY the barns? They'll belong to you and your sister when we're gone, why BUY them now?" I said, "Ellen and I won't fight over any of it, you know that. But it will be a lot easier to buy them now and not have to deal with going through all of it then. I want the barns, and everything that's in them!"
The next weekend, when my sister came to visit them, he talked with her about it, and she said "There's nothing in there I want. Come up with what the two of you think is a fair price and sell it!" So...I got two barns, three tractors, various implements, two acres, and stuff that I'm STILL finding in the corners and other out-of-the-way places!
The house my folks built was a large two-story structure, but they only lived in the lower level. In fact, the upper floor was never finished - just a 72' long open area out to the rafters on each side!
Mom died in '98, and it was a big comfort to Dad that we lived so close. He and our son were always very close, and Dad often talked about Rick wanting to live there someday, and how he hoped he could.
Dad had a stroke in the fall of '01, and was in a nursing facility. He was unable to talk much, but I spent an hour or two with him almost every evening. We'd worked, talked, and played together for so long that we really didn't have to talk much anyway. One evening, he looked me in the eye and said, very clearly, "Sell it!"
I stared at him for a few moments, and said "Your house?" He nodded, and said "Rick!"
I called my sister that evening, and told her about it. She asked if I thought Rick and his wife could afford it, and what we needed to do to help them get it. We agreed to sell it to Rick at appraised value, if he could swing the deal.
It was appraised, he took the appraisal to his bank, they did a walk-through, and said okay! He put a For-sale sign in the yard of his house at 9:30 that morning, and by 3:30 that same afternoon, his house was sold! Only one problem - they wanted it within 30 days!
We then embarked on a crash effort to re-hab the house from a one-story home for two old people to a two-story dwelling for a young couple with two little kids! With the help/connections of neighbors, friends, family, and two local businesses, we did it!
It'll be 4 years next month since Dad died, and I've thought often about how much easier it was to see my parent's home stay within the family, and how wonderful it is to have my grandchildren that close.
We ate Thanksgiving dinner with them on Thursday; the place looks different, but it's still got those family ties.

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