Re: Way far OT- Alzheimers and the folks

Posted by jdemaris on September 08, 2007 at 05:45:30 from (66.218.17.63):

In Reply to: Way far OT- Alzheimers and the folks posted by Gus on September 07, 2007 at 15:00:25:

I suggest you do your homework and read up on your own state and county laws concerning Medicaid. As far as attorneys go - it's a crap-shoot. Some specialize in these trings, some don't - some are totally incompetent. Question and verify anything you are told. I went though this mess with my mom - who is now 92 and doesn't know what planet she's on. My dad died in 1980 and she's been alone since. She showed early signs of being senile 10 years ago. She worked to hide it, and was very independent and secretive about finances. She also was still driving a car. I was living 200 miles away - and got a phone call one night from her local police. She was driving on the wrong side of the road at night with no lights on - and gave the police no explanation for it. Then, once in the police station - refused to use the bathroom because there were some sort of "demons" telling her not to, etc. etc. By phone, police told me to do something right away - or - they'd have her locked up, evaluated, etc. etc. So, I hopped in the car, went down, forced her to come with me (under a lot or protest), and brought her back home - all with little notice and no plan. Got home, she refused to eat and claimed we were trying to poison her. This same thing happened years back with her mother - maybe it's a French thing (my mom and grandma are both from rurual southern France).
So, I had to learn fast - and some things the hard way. I was given a lot of bad advice from lawyers and senior-citizen finance experts. Her own family lawyer refused to get involved because of her questionable mental state. We spent months trying to figure out her finances, search through her house and sifting through 50 year old stock certificates, piles of bank books and records, etc.
Besides getting a lot of bad information from lawyers, we also got a lot of the same from many government agencies. Don't assume - that if you speak to an "expert" at the Medicaid office - that the person knows the facts. I got mis-information from police, attorneys, social service workers, and judges. Of course, I also got some accurate information - but my point is - if you don't do some research yourself - you won't know how to separate the bad info from the good.
In regard to Medicaid and look-back - every state (and county) has it's own special formula. Find out exactly what your's is and read closely. I had been advised to get a senior trust setup - but luckily did not fall for it. In most cases, you get screwed by it. To make a long story a little shorter - I did NOT take advice from several attorneys - but did listen to some from my own, who does not specialize in these matters but has a good general knowledge. I got power-of-attorney while my mother was still able to read and understand things (she was still having times when she was lucid). I sold her house, paid her bills, and put all her assets in one bank account. First as a joint account, and then transferred to me only. Filed the transfer as a gift - and had no tax due - because of a "less then $1,000,000 gift exemption from a family member." Then figured out the formula that New York State (for my county) uses for Medicaid - which goes by her net worth at time of transfer to me along with various medical costs, etc. It comes to a number of months you have to wait before applying for Medicaid. She didn't have much, so it came to 22 months. And, a warning! If you apply too early, you are screwed. We took care of my mom for awhile - but it became impossible. We then put her into assisted living and paid cash for it. Started out at $1000 per month and constantly kept going up. We then found out that there are certain types of assisted living that Medicaid will pay with NO lookback. It's a level below nursing home care, but a level above standard assisted living. We got good care for her, and she now qualifies fully for Medicaid nursing-home care. But as it stands now, the assisted living place does not want to "give her up" to a nursing home since - I assume - they like getting the money. I'm not fight it since the level of care is almost the same, anyway.
Perhaps I sound overly skeptical of the "experts" around us. Well, I am. I was astounded at the level of imcomepetence we experienced while trying to take care of mom. I will say - that we got some of the best advice from non-profit, non-government senior-citizen agencies.
I will also add that back when my dad got sick around 1980 we went through the same sort of nonsense. Being a WWII veteran, he went into the VA hospital. He got sicker and sicker - and got to a point where he was too sick (and hard to control) for any nursing home - but not sick enough to stay any longer in the VA hospital. They called my mom and said he had to leave in two weeks and we had to figure it out. The only way he could stay was if - a doctor signed him off as "terminally ill" or as an alcoholic -which he was not. If you are a drunk, you can stay there forever. Three days later, he died. We later found out he had been beaten - severely. But, the VA hospital said the beating was due to their having to restrain him because he was violent and uncontrollable. I did not know this at the time - I found out two years later. If I had known at the time, I don't know what good it would of done, anyway.
Good luck - and do your research. Main thing is - take control - nobody is going take as much interest in the matter as a close family member - regardless of how much you pay them.

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