Gary, I have been in your shoes. Kidney failure, dialysis, kidney transplant, dad died, Mother and brother turned against me an tried to take stuff that my dad and I bought and paid for. I had loan paperwork showing my name on it.
When my dad died I did grief counseling for 6 months.
All I can say is GET HELP NOW! You do it by admitting you need help and then walk into your counties Mental health office. They will have one in your county seat. Betcha!
Get to a doctor for some anti depressant medication. If you tell them the truth, no covering up stuff, you will get it. Pi$$ on the cost or who pays for it.
You do this Monday morning or I'll come down there and kick your Texas butt!
Some things I learned from counseling:
Things get better.
OTAT - One Thing Ata Time. A person gets overwealmed by all that is happening or needs to be taken care of.
Make a list of things to do, or especially goals, then do what you have to do to accomplish the things on the list, but take them one step at a time.
You mention money. Well, think it through, you either can make more money,or eliminate bills. What skills do you have? What can you learn? What kinda work would you like to do? Maybe you need to change jobs. They are still out there. Elimanate debts. Call lenders or card companies. Tell them they have to lower their interest rates. Maybe they would write off part of the loan. Maybe sell stuff you dont need.
If that doesn't fit the bill, consider seeing an attorney and file for bankruptcy, it's not the ened of the world, but a way to start over. I was at a meeting once, the presenter had us do a little game. He asked us to write down the ten things that we were really worried about. Then to put this list in our wallet and take it out a year later and see how many of those things were still a problem. It will surprise you how things work out.
Get involved in church if you arent. I know it sounds hoakey, but Jesus loves you!
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