Me and this guy were doing some work in the early hours of the morning at a funeral home. It had to be done when we wouldn't be interfering with the business so to speak and went on for a couple of weeks, just the two of us and the stiffs laid out in the viewing rooms, so we didn't waste anytime when we'd be around any of those rooms. Get in, turn the lights on, do the work, shut the lights off, get out of those rooms. Funeral homes are erie enough when there's a lot of people there, but when there's almost no one there, they are erie as all get out specially when you gotta do all of the turning the lighst on and off and stuff as you're walking around trying to find the light switches and stuff. So we've got the free run of the place to do our thing. My buddy's wandering around doing his thing, and now I'm down in the basement doing my thing and I get to a room where they've got caskets laid out on display and I'm working away. I hear my buddy calling me as he's coming down stairs, and the place is just huge, huge, huge. I know he's going to wander around looking for me, and believe it or not, and I'm going to go to the bad place for this, but I hopped in one and pulled the lid down, but didn't let it slam down because I don't know if them things lock shut when they get shut hard. I've got to tell you, them caskets look nice and soft and stuff where you're looking at them, but they aint really all that nice when you're in one and its shut, and that flowery smell is a bit much, but I didn't plan on being in there for long, just long enough though at about 4AM with my work buddy hollaring and looking for me...and I was, just long enough too. I could just see out enough to see him coming into the room and that's when I started moving around inside that casket, shaking it and stuff and askin, "Hello, where am I, can someone let me out of here". He dropped his tools and he was gone, and I'm glad I didn't get locked in that thing, cause he was gone, gone, gone screaming and hollaring all the way out of there. I ended up catching him out in the parking lot and he was out of his mind hysterical with me trying to calm him down asking what's the matter as though I didn't have a clue. Finally I gave him, "Hello, where am I, can someone let me out of here" a few times until he caught on.
Looking back on it, he really should've punched me, but he didn't. And I've gotta tell you, them caskets may look nice from the outside, but they really aint all the nice from the inside. I'm not looking to get back in one of them anytime soon, I'll guarantee you that.
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Today's Featured Article - Old Time Threshing - by Anthony West. A lovely harvest evening late September 1947, I was a school boy, like all school boys I loved harvest time. The golden corn ripens well and early, the stoking, stacking,.... the drawing in with the tractors and trailers and a few buck rakes thrown in, and possibly a heavy horse. It would be a great day for the collies and the terrier dogs, rats and mice would be at the bottom of the stacks so the dogs, would have a busy time hunting and killing, all the corn was gathered and ricked in what we c
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