OLD HERE IS A TRUE STORY THAT SHOULD GIVE YOU A LAUGH
THE FLYING GOAT
Calypso was the elite of the goat world and lived in the state of New York, but recognized goat owners all over the world. His offspring were outstanding in both type and production. He was not the typical goat most people were familiar with.
Needing a new sire for our herd of Toggenburg Dairy Goats. We contacted his owner about buying a son. She asked, “Why don’t you buy Calypso”?
We did not think that he would be for sale. I asked, “How much are you asking”?
“You can buy him for the same amount of money as a young son would cost you”.
How do we get him from New York to Oklahoma? We had flown some young doeling across the country by airfreight but this was a mature, smelly male.
Calypso weighed close to three hundred pounds. Since it was the end of the breeding season, he had the full array of odors that all of the female goats (unlike human females) love. He was probably the filthiest, most obnoxious and stinking goat in the world.
We had talked with some people who shipped goats around the country and they told us he was a pet and as a pet he could fly with us, no charge.
Well, old Calypso lived close to our son who was in Vermont at that time. Mom and Dad needed a vacation and looked into the idea.
First we will have the son go and look at Calypso to make sure he was what we wanted and healthy.
Our son drove down to New York and reported back “He is beautiful”.
I met with our local travel agent to find out if it was possible to carry out this scheme. I told her that this was a mature male and had a distinctive odor.
“I have heard every thing. I will have to check with the airline,” she said.
She got on the phone and explained the plan to the airline. She was very careful. “You under stand this is a three hundred pound mature buck goat?” she repeated to them. “Oh, you will provide a shipping crate. It can be picked up at the airport when they arrived in Boston”?
It would be possible, I’ll be. Mom and I planned a trip to visit the son and his wife. We decide to fly straight to Boston where our son would meet us. With ticket and instructions in hand we were off on the non-stop flight. Logan Airport’s located next to the harbor in Boston, and looked beautiful as our flight approached. We landlubbers from the flat dry land of Oklahoma had never seen so many ships and as much water.
Our Son and his wife greeted us at the gate. Son and I went up to the service counter and he said, “We are here to pick up a shipping crate for a goat”. We had hit the magic word goat. The word alone set off pandemonium at the counter. The attendant screamed “ No one is going to ship a goat as a pet on this air line.
I showed her the paper work with all of the arrangements. That woman was probably the nastiest, meanest person I’d ever met. She did nothing that gave my wife and I a good impression of Boston.
“Let me see your supervisor”. I was wrong. She gave the word an even clearer meaning than the first attendant. I concluded the first attendant was an amateur.
The only way Calypso could fly was as Air Freight and it was expensive. What could we do? We had to get him to Oklahoma. At Air Freight we explained the problem. The men here were super nice.
I told them my problem they laughed. One asked, “When is your return flight?” I told them.
There’s a problem. Calypso will be on a flight that will be leaving thirty minutes before your flight via Chicago and arrive in Oklahoma thirty minutes after your flight. “I understand. Our flight’s straight to Oklahoma, non-stop.
They were excellent when assisting us on making plans and told us the size of crate that was necessary.
I explained, “This is a mature male goat with an unpleasant odor.”
“Just make sure the crate you make meets all of the specification,” he said, as he handed me several sheets of instructions. “You will have to make reservations for his flight,” he added.
We went to our son’s home to build a suitable crate but first we went to a car rental and made arrangements to rent a van. We measured it so we could make a crate that would fit in it and still meet the airfreight specifications.
We had intended to give Calypso a good bath, but decided we were going let him travel in his natural state, smelly. It would not bother us traveling in the van since we were accustomed to the odor and could drive with the window’s open
We got to Barbara’s farm and she announced, “I had the children give Calypso a bath.”
I will admit, he smelled better, but I was not sure about the children. We got the old boy in the crate and it in the van and off to the airport we went. All was well as we entered the airport.
My son and I were talking and mentioned the fact that we should insure Calypso. We had heard that people who flew high value dogs by Air Freight insured them at high value. They felt that the animal received better treatment.
When they asked his value I said “ Ten thousand dollars.”.
This got their attention. “For a goat?’
We grinded and said, “There is not another in the world like him.”
While we waiting in the passenger terminal for our flight one of the freight agents came to us. He said, “ Your goat is on the plane and it just took off for Chicago. We have notified them of his arrival and they have notified Oklahoma to expect him”.
“Wonderful” Mom and I settled back in our seats for a relaxed flight home.
When our plane approached the unloading ramp an announcement was made, “Mr. Trible, report to the counter once.”
I told my wife, “Something has happen to Calypso.”
I approached the counter. The flight attendant said, ”There is a problem with your shipment.” She offered no explanation other I was instructed to go to the freight office. After the experience in Boston had Chicago decided he was undesirable cargo? Was I going to have to go to Chicago and get him?
I approached the new counter and identified myself. The man said, “Someone forgot to load your goat on the plan to Oklahoma, but, it will be put on the next plane which will arrive at 1:00 PM tomorrow.”
My mind started spinning. What about food and water? Was he inside or was he on the tarmac? What about the heat? When the temperatures get so high they cannot fly animals.
Having had a few good lessons in nasty since this all started, I decided it was my turn. I explained, ”My truck and driver was waiting here for me. It was sixty miles to the farm. Was I expected to make a trip back for him? What about feed? What about water? What about the heat? Where his he now?” I reminded him of the insurance amount.
I told him to look at the insurance value on the goat.
His reply, “I will get back with you in a little while.” He hustled off in a hurry.
Our driver arrived and I explained had happened. Not much we could do till we heard word on Calypso. We were enjoying a cup of coffee.
The freight agent approached us and said. “I have called Chicago. They have moved you goat into the air-conditioned office and given him water. He will be here on the flight tomorrow and he will delivered to the farm.”
My wife, driver and I sort of grinned at each other. Thinking, we would not want to be in an office with that smelly mature buck even if he has had a bath.
While waiting the next morning to hear about Calypso. I called our travel agent. She still had all of the information in the computer. She said, “She would forward a hard copy to me.
The phone rang. “If you will come and get your goat we will give you two hundred dollars in travel vouchers. He will be here in about an hour. “We cannot find a delivery service that will haul him”.
“OK, we are on our way.”
I wrote a letter of complaint to the airline. I complained about the treatment my wife and I had received in Boston and about the fact we had to pay for airfreight even though they had agreed to accept my goat as a pet. I figured it was a waste of postage, but did not want the rudeness of their employees to go unnoticed.
In about a week I received a letter, asking for a copy of the freight bill the cost of the material to build the crate. In another week or so I received another letter. It contained a check for the cost of airfreight, crate and a three hundred dollar travel voucher for the trouble that was caused.
Calypso fared quite well through it all and lived out the rest of his life, free to roam in a big pasture. He sired many outstanding offspring, went on to be a Grand Champion. Even though it is fifteen years later, thru the wonders of science Calypso is still producing offspring. We have enough semen for potentially three hundred babies storied in liquid nitrogen.
You know what? He is still ranked as the top sire in the county. His sons or grandsons have not been able to beat him out.
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Today's Featured Article - Listening to Your Tractor - by Curtis Von Fange. Years ago there was a TV show about a talking car. Unless you are from another planet, physically or otherwise, I don’t think our internal combustion buddies will talk and tell us their problems. But, on the other hand, there is a secret language that our mechanical companions readily do speak. It is an interesting form of communication that involves all the senses of the listener. In this series we are going to investigate and learn the basic rudimentary skills of understanding this lingo.
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