Posted by Mattlt on June 22, 2011 at 11:09:00 from (207.67.101.231):
My Dad is in a nursing home with dementia, but my Mom still lives on the home farm place. My younger brother (and his wife) also lives on the farm (different house) and acts as Power of Attorney for both our parents. They pretty much took away any financial control from my Mom... They gave her a credit card to use to buy gas, groceries, meds, and some spending money. She just never saw anything to do with the finances. Most of the time there wasn't any need for her to have to worry about it - the bills seemed to have been being paid.
Well, a few weeks ago things hit the fan when her credit card was denied. Sister-in-law said it's because the Soc Sec deposit doesn't go in until the 3rd of the month... blah blah blah. After some pushing, the Sister-in-law's house of cards came down. She confessed to spending around $20K on Mom's credit card, then paying for the stuff from Mom's bank account (using checks that my brother had pre-signed checks and/or online banking access) I was amazed that my parents Soc Security checks added up to such a large amount over the last few years.
We've since gotten our hands on bank statements, credit card statements, etc. Over $5k spent on kids' clothes, thousands more to some of these home-based business deals that sell baskets, candles, etc (Sister-in-law is a dealer for several of these products.) She says she's going to dip into a 401K or some such source to pay it all back. And of course she's saying she's got a "disease" and has been seeking counseling. She was barely covering the interest charges on such things as my Mom's heating bill, while she was buying junk like crazy.
I know this is hard to believe, but I really don't believe my brother knew anything was going on. He was believing his wife. My wife and I were always curious if something was going on but were never able to see the books to verify. All the while they were going through audits from the Medical Assistance people because of my Dad's nursing home situation. These people didn't catch anything either. (Which is another piece of this puzzle that I won't go into in this thread) My brother believed that his wife had things under control, and certainly if anything was wrong the M.A. audits would catch something. Apparently not!
Here's where I come to my question. I realize there's enough evidence to charge my sister-in-law, but what about my brother? He's obviously been negligent in letting his wife spend all this money, but I don't believe he did anything criminal. Would the courts agree?
They are trying to work on the marriage for the sake of their two kids. One counselor they talked to said it would have been easier to overcome an affair than something of this nature.
I'm trying to be a forgiving person in this situation, but I'm not sure that's going to be the outcome. I'd personally like to see my brother "cut his losses" and divorce the B....! So far, my Mother is willing to forgive her, and my other two siblings and I have been respecting her wishes.
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