Well you have let a 14 year old kid run your life. You are the one that has let this happen. Now comes the hard facts of life. Some day the kid will find some one that will tell him no and have the force to back it up. That very well could be the legal system if he keeps on the drugs. Could be some one worse and he ends up DEAD. He is not as tough as he thinks he is. Some one will prove it to him.
Some things to think about:
1) Where is he getting the money to have the life style you are describing???? Stop giving him any money at all. Not a single dime. You can pay for him to have lunch at school directly to the school. Other than that ZERO money.
2) Set a curfew and enforce it. What I mean by that is he has to be home by a certain time. After that the doors will be locked and not opened until 7 am the next morning. Change the locks if you have too.
3) The kid being 6 ft and 150 lbs of pure muscle. So what!!!! I bet that he never has had a real butt kicking just a few kid dust ups. I guarantee that I could get the kid to swing at me. Then it is self defense. KNOCK THE snot out of him. Make it hurt to eat and breath for a few days. Had to give my 21 year old this lesson a few years ago. He got to where he would argue with me and get in my face and start bumping chest thinking I would not do anything as I am now an "old man". He soon found out that this old man still has some bark.
4) The most important one!!! You have two other kids. Do you think that they are not seeing you have zero control over this 14 year old kid??? If you let it go on then you have a very high chance of having to do it all over again with them. You have be tough on the kid and still love him. You are doing him ZERO favors letting this go on.
Now the real hard part. You need to be united with your wife on this. You need to go see your lawyer. You need to know what the laws are in your state on your responsibility to your kid. Then the hard one, find out what you can do to sever your kid from your house hold. Here in Iowa it can be done through the county court system. Then the kid becomes a ward of the state. Here that means they get to stay at Independence for a full sync review. Then placement in juvenile detention if they are too bad. Foster care if they are not.
So you have a few choices. You are going to have to make one of them. Which one is up to you but your are going to have to get control of your house and home again. You have your other two kids and your wife to worry about. This kid may have to be written off for a few years. Letting this go on will not only make this kid worse but it will negatively effect the others in our home. This is one of the times in life that it sucks to be the adult.
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Today's Featured Article - Listening to Your Tractor - by Curtis Von Fange. Years ago there was a TV show about a talking car. Unless you are from another planet, physically or otherwise, I don’t think our internal combustion buddies will talk and tell us their problems. But, on the other hand, there is a secret language that our mechanical companions readily do speak. It is an interesting form of communication that involves all the senses of the listener. In this series we are going to investigate and learn the basic rudimentary skills of understanding this lingo.
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