Posted by JerryS on December 28, 2012 at 19:04:02 from (98.80.119.75):
In Reply to: wake...? posted by samn40 on December 28, 2012 at 17:01:04:
Down here in the deep south I don't hear the term "wake" very often. When I was a lad the practice was that when a person died he/she was taken to the funeral home, embalmed, stuffed into their best clothes and placed in the casket. The casket and its contents were then returned home, placed in the best room in the house, and from then until time for the funeral various people remained in the room. It was called "settin' up" with the deceased, and there was someone in there at all times, a family member or friends of the family. People from the community would trickle in and out over the next day or two, usually bringing food. The table was always set, and it was an open smorgasbord.
In the meantime there was a crew of men out at the cemetery digging the grave, with picks, grubbing hoes and shovels. My dad volunteered for that detail on several occasions. Usually on the third day the hearse picked the body up and delivered it to the funeral site---almost always in a church, even if the dearly departed had never darkened the doors of one before. After the funeral everyone went back to the house and finished up the food. Unless you had a dairy, like my family did, and in that case you went back and started the second milking.
That's the way it was eout in the country where I grew up. It may have been different elsewhere.
But times have changed, and now the standard practice here is that the funeral is still held on the third day; not set in stone, but the usual thing. We have what's called a visitation, usually held at the mortuary (funeral home, we call it in the South) for about two hours on the evening before the funeral. Not infrequently the deceased is moved to a church for the funeral services, but most funerals are held at the funeral home.
What I have described is the Caucasian way. Black people here have their own, different process. (There is no racial animus intended here, and I hope no one tries to interpret it as such.)
Black people very rarely hold a funeral less than a week from the time of the death. I think they might have a better idea there: the grieving family is surrounded by friends for a longer period of time, giving them a longer time to be comforted and to accept the idea the loss. They also tend to make the week of mourning more of an "occasion", which helps the family through the grieving process.
Black folks down here (this is not a racial thing, it's just a statement of pure fact) generally have a full week
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