Posted by jhilyer on January 10, 2013 at 08:11:23 from (74.81.112.46):
In Reply to: Re: Ambition? posted by Beth Fordy on January 09, 2013 at 09:30:49:
One thing that I've learned as I fashion my life philosophy is that "Happiness comes from within".
Meaning, no one else is going to 'make' you happy, you can't find your happiness in someone else. Even your spouse. You can share in each other's happiness, but only you can make you happy. And that's the problem I'm having: What can I do to make me happy? What should I be focusing on? What changes do I need to make?
I'm going to start exercising again. The best I've felt in the last 10 years was 3 years ago when I exercised on a regular basis. What happened? I lost 60 pounds, then I found my wife! Then the exercising got put on the back burner. Not blaming her, in fact she's encouraging me to go back because she knows it made me feel better, and she wants me to last so we can have 'golden years' together!
I used to be cynical about exercise, but really, it's great on many levels. You have much more energy, you have exercise goals, you have something to do in your free time, there is a feeling of accomplishment.
I think we're all looking for a sense of accomplishment, a reason for being. I have kids, I've enjoyed raising them (mostly - they're teenagers now - ugh), but I don't think kids are necessary for anyone's life to be worthwhile. Unfortunately our society says otherwise, and that's too bad.
Here's the great thing about your situation, something many of us would envy: You have no husband or kids, and therefore you have no responisibilities. Not really. Now maybe you have a pet, maybe you have a car payment, rent, bills, etc, etc, and you think these are responsibilities, but really - these are all things you could walk away from and start fresh. When you get locked down by marriage, and especially by kids, now you have Responsibilities, with a capital R. Right now, you have the freedom to take your life literally in any direction you want. Hard to do that with a family. Take this opportunity! You can make radical changes that most of us can't make!
Yes, I also feel jaded and hardened by life. But I'm generally a hopefull person. I know things will get better, and I know it's up to me to make it so.
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